ahhh....the shore

Today I had a work training in Neptune (which is down the shore for non-NJ savvy friends) and when my co-workers and I went out for pizza I realized that we were literally blocks from the ocean.  "Let's get our stuff to go and eat it on the boardwalk" I said.  Hooray!  We were all excited...the beach in November...awesome!  It was a beautiful day, too, with slightly warmer than usual weather.

A beautiful fall day!

The 3 of us sat on a bench and ate our lunch while watching the ocean.  We were in the middle of discussing how restorative the ocean is.  I mean, on a very primal level the ocean just makes me feel like all will be alright with my world.

And then.  Oh yes...and then.  One seagull flew over us and landed in the sand in front of us.  I say, "Watch out for the seagull.  He'll try to steal our food."  And within what seemed like seconds, there were many seagulls circling over us and pretending to dive bomb.  We started walking to the gazebo a little ways away.  We turn around and the seagulls were following us.  By this time we were laughing so hard that we could barely talk, let alone walk upright.  If I had been able to I would have tried to record them.


We made it to the cover of the gazebo and finished eating our lunch.  As we were all looking out toward the ocean we realized that laughing hard like we did was just as restorative as looking out at the ocean.  And though I would love to be near the ocean every day, on most days, a good, hard laugh with friends is there for the taking.

Finally under cover!

Summer's End

Here we are at the tail end of my summer break and I am facing all the expectations that I promised myself I would not have this year.  In the beginning of the summer I had written about my usual laundry list of expectations for my summer break and had said that this summer I will not have that list.  I promised myself that I would not stress out about not completely de-cluttering and re-organizing my house.  I am happy to say that I did not let myself get too stressed about it all.  In normal summer mode I would be disappointed with what I did not get accomplished this summer.  This summer I am happy with what I did get done around the house.  A lot of it was just the daily cleaning that occurs with a smallish house and a preschooler.  :)  I also worked on my bedroom; and even though it is not completely finished there is a HUGE improvement. (Okay, Vinnie might not agree with the huge part.  lol)

Looking back on what I had written in early July, I initially wished that I had done more craft stuff with Lilly and arranged a few more playdates.  Some people I had reached out to for playdates were not available and that is okay, even if a bit disappointing.  And sometimes the timing just did not work out.  Maybe I wasted a few too many mornings doing nothing.  And then I realized all that we did do!  But we did go on tons of fun playdates and attended our library's summer preschool reading program.  We visited friends and family down the shore and at lakes.  We explored different playgrounds in our area.  I reconnected with many of my girlfriends, attended a great free music festival and traveled to North Carolina.

Personally, I started on the path to a healthier, running me.  Of course this past week has been difficult with the area still recovering from hurricane Irene.  Not to mention my ankle/Achilles tendon is being a bit funky.  But I am committed to continuing this healthier lifestyle once school resumes next week.

I have to admit that today I was starting to feel that ball of anxiety in my belly about not organizing the basement or finishing my bedroom or insert chore.  But I stepped back and took a deep breath and looked at what I did.  And if I took a lot of naps this summer, maybe it was because I needed them.  I reminded myself that I had surgery the 2nd day after school let out and I was also ill in July. And if Lilly is disappointed that I did not play princesses or babies with her every time she asked, I console myself with the knowledge that she would have me play every possible minute.  And dinner does not cook itself!  So in that I learned about the balance of being a SAHM again.  It is not all fun and games.  Chores have to get done, too.

I hope everyone else had a fun summer!  What was your favorite thing you did this summer?  Come on...leave me some comment love!!!

My Grandma

As many people know my Nanny (my mom's mom) is not doing the best and she is in her end stages of life.  Though, seeing how she was playing with Lilly this weekend I can tell you that she has some life in her yet! 

But this is about my dad's mom, my Grandma.  Thinking and talking about nanny dying has stirred up a lot of feelings about my Grandma.  I am not even sure I can write them all out here in one post because it would be too long yet not long enough to accurately convey my feelings and thoughts.  So for today I will just talk about how I miss her.

I always miss her most in the summertime because she lived down the shore for most of my life.  When I was in college I would hop in my car and drive down to see her for the weekend or for some weekdays when I was in retail (and worked all weekend.)  We would look at old pictures and letters and she would tell me stories.  I wish I had had the foresight to record them because I have forgotten most and, as young people are apt to, I thought I would always have more time with her.  I had no clue that a stroke would rob her of her ability to communicate a story in that way.  She would cook for me...turkey or chicken tetrazinni,  or meatballs are the meals I remember.  It was an easy existence for us when I would visit on those days.  Often she was working during the day and I would go to the beach and come home in time for us to have dinner (along with Aunt Ginny!) 

Grandma had a wicked funny sense of humor.  She was sarcastic, irreverant and maybe more than a little nutty.  I know that her sense of funny was not always nice to other people but for now, I am putting that aside.  She wore animal prints, leggings and glittery painted shirts.  Her Keds were not white but floral, blue or had some other design. She bought me my first pair of satiny panties.  I think I was 14 and secretly thought they were fantastic.  Grandma was raised as a Protestant and knew all her Bible verses and sang "Jesus loves me this I know..."  among other songs in her slightly off-tone voice.  We always went to Mass together when I went down to visit her. 

Sometimes when Lilly does something really funny or has a certain look on her face or dresses in some crazy get-up that includes a twirly skirt and maybe some lip gloss or lips, as Lilly calls it, "lips" I know in my heart that Grandma would have loved Lilly so much.  She would have thought that she was just the funniest, sweetest little girl.  Lilly would have made Grandma laugh and they would have gotten along like 2 peas in a pod.  And then I miss her even more.

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the Jersey Shore, baby!

No, not that Jersey Shore!  Well,we could see the Seaside boardwalk from where we were. But for all those non-NJ folks, the real Jersey shore is not about fist pumping.  :0)  Vin, Lilly and I packed it up and took a very last minute daytrip to visit my sister-in-law Gina and her boyfriend Anthony at his family's vacation house (for the week) in Lavalette.  Today the beach was beautiful- sunny, slightly breezy, and warm.  The ocean was just cool enough and the waves started off great.  They did get rough in the afternoon and Lilly got a little knocked around, even as I was holding her.  As she was going to sleep tonight she told me she didn't like the water.  I hope that she is not too fearful the next time we go because she was loving it up until those last few waves.  I love the ocean and I want her to love it too!!  I forgot my camera but luckily I did have my cell phone for at least one picture!