Sleep...Why I don't and why I need to

Everybody knows how important sleep is to our health.  The amount and quality of sleep we get each night radically affects almost every aspect of our health, from our hearts to our weight to our mental health. Sleep deprivation causes a startling amount of car accidents each year.  In fact, the CDC reports that 1 in 20 adults has fallen asleep at the wheel.  I know there were many times when I was working several jobs or working and going to school at night when I was too tired to drive safely.  Yet I did anyway.

I am working on losing weight.  Again. Or maybe still.  However I phrase it, the end result is the same. I have been saying I was going to work on losing weight and I only gave it a little bit of a try.  Couple that with the foot injuries I have been battling and the extra weight has been hanging around like a bad penny.

I decided I need a holistic and more of a project approach to this.  By project I mean I need to be a good planner.  I need to plan what I am going to eat and when and also when I will exercise.  By looking at losing weight in a holistic manner I realized that I do not get nearly enough sleep!

There are many reasons why people don't sleep enough - they are working, doing housework, night owls, drink too much caffeine, and on and on.  I tend to do a lot of little things around the house after Lilly is asleep and then I unwind by fooling around on the computer or watching some television.  What does this mean?  I need to change several little routines so that I can make the bigger change of going to sleep earlier and waking up without being exhausted still.

Since I am working full time at a summer camp for 7 weeks, I think I will be forced to get enough sleep.  I know it will be exhausting! The person who came to speak to us from the camp's insurer even spoke about the dangers of sleep deprivation, as did the camp director.

With all that being said, I think part of it is that I just have to get myself into bed!  Easier said than done for this night owl....

How much sleep do you get per night?  What are some tips for getting a good night's sleep?

I am such a night owl

How do I turn myself into a morning person?  I know the ways in which I should train myself into a morning person.  I know why I should become a morning person, namely, getting to work in a timely and not panic attack-inducing fashion.  But I just cannot get myself to go to sleep early enough so that waking up early is not a constant battle.

I would like to be able to get up early enough to work out in the mornings.  The way things stand now, and historically speaking, I am lucky I have time to jump in the shower in the mornings before work.  Please don't look at my legs because they will not be smooth, but more on the bristly side.

I like to go on the computer after Lilly is in bed and do all my farmville and cityville stuff.  (It's all right; you can laugh at me.)  I like to exercise and/or watch a little TV before I settle in for the night.  i don't do all things every night.  I blog.  Sometimes I like to read.  This is not even including the usual evening chores: dinner dishes, breakfast/lunch for the next day, get clothes ready, laundry maybe.  I cannot even begin to fathom doing household chores on school nights, as much as I would like to.  I think about mopping the kitchen floor after she is in bed.  That's as far as that goes.

There have been periods of my life during which I forced myself to wake up early to exercise before work.  I loved doing it early because I was more likely to get it done, I ate better the rest of the day and I felt very energized all day.  Plus I would be so tired early in the evening that I would actually go to bed and fall asleep earlyish.

So meanwhile I have been writing about going to sleep early as the clock ticks on.  Maybe if I reward myself... 1 pedicure for 5 nights of early to bed and the consequential 5 days of early to rise.  hmmm.....I might be onto something...

Definition: Snuggle

The definition of snuggle is varied depending on who is using it and at what time.

1. A substitute for late night or nap time nursing.  i.e. used by me: No, it is not time to nurse but we can snuggle. Used by Lilly: Snuggle Mommy, snuggle! said in screaming voice at 4am or nap time.

2. The act of laying down next to your child until either s/he falls asleep.

3. The act of laying down next to your child and not waking until your husband comes to find you 2 hours later or better yet your child uses a bike horn in your ear and/or pours her water all over you.

tiredness

I am really tired.  Like bone-tired, can't think of how I will survive without good, solid sleep tired.  I am not sure what happened.  I think part of it, a good part, is that I am emotionally tired.  Another large part is that I think the last time I got several consecutive nights of good, solid sleep was about, um, 2.5 years ago.  Basically from the beginning of pregnancy onward it has been a struggle to get great sleep.  Now, I survive pretty well on less sleep than most people.  However I believe my limit has been reached.  I need Lilly to sleep tonight and I need to go to bed NOW!

It feels as if I am propping my eyes open with toothpicks

Lordy am I tired.  This week was so emotional.  It started out with Mother's Day and my birthday on Sunday, being let go on Monday, having an interview on Thursday and finding out on the way home that another co-worker was let go, some other in-between crap and tomorrow is my Convocation.  I am about to go upstairs, read my book U is for Undertow Kinsey Milhone Mystery and listen to some Enya:  A Day Without Rain.  Reading helps my mind empty itself of any crap floating around.  The music calms my soul.  I know that playing Enya to relax is played out.  I get it.  But it still works for me.  And at this juncture, whatever works will be utilized to its fullest extent.

Last night I did not go into Lilly's room when she started crying at 10pm.  She fell back asleep.  She did not come into our room until 5am-ish.  Tonight I let her cry again for about 5 minutes.  So far she went back to sleep.  It is so hard as a parent to stay out of the room.  We had gotten pretty good at letting her cry and recognizing her different cries.  After she was sick and had the last few seizures I did not leave anything to chance and went in if she cried for more than a few minutes.  It is difficult for me to let go of that need to check on every little whimper.  However I am doing her an injustice by not letting her fall asleep on her own.  She became accustomed (very quickly I might add) to getting up around 10pm and hanging out with us.  But 2 y.o. girls need their sleep and so do their parents!!

So what the heck am I still doing awake???  Blogging and finishing the dishes and feeding the cats.

Happy weekend!!

Wordy Wednesday

So many people have Wordless Wednesday blogs that I decided to be a little different.  Plus Vinnie has class tonight so it is a good night for me to sit down and do some blogging.  Of course I am now sitting here blogging instead of cleaning...mopping, laundry, dishes, organizing, putting things away, working on my resume, etc.

Right...so just as I finished that last sentence Lilly woke up screaming in the middle of what (I believe) is a night terror.  And in the middle of comforting her Vinnie came home from school.  yada yada yada...we ate dinner and I had no me-time.  Not to mention the fact that my Wordy Wednesday post will be posted on Thursday.  Shh...don't tell!

I have been having a really hard time getting back to WW in a solid way.  I have been doing okay but not great.  I miss the gym and I miss yoga.  I miss being prepared so that I can make healthy eating choices without a lot of thought/effort.  I keep trying to focus on the big picture.  It is not such a big deal, in the long run, that I have had one day/week/etc when I was off-track.  I may not lose weight this week, or next for that matter.  But eating healthy, exercising, finding time for me and relaxation are all part of the bigger picture of a healthier, calmer, happier me.  So tomorrow I start again.  And maybe if I get enough sleep tonight (fingers crossed) I will have enough energy to go to the gym.

And just maybe I will mop my kitchen floor this week!

the working mom dilemma?

I thought that being at work all day would give me the patience with Lilly when I was with her. Meaning, that since I was spending significantly less time with her, I would not lose my patience when she has a tantrum or gets overtired and cranky. This was a great thing I heard happens from other working moms. LIARS!!! Okay, not really, but I am not finding that to be true. I find that the more time I am away from her the less I am able to put up the tantrums and crankiness. Also, in the little time that I have with her each day I am also: getting ready for work in the morning, cooking dinner, packing lunches, doing laundry, trying to keep the house in order, doing homework, and oh, spending time with my precious little one.

I also think that I was more in touch with what is typical behavior when I was a SAHM. Kind of like I was conditioned to expect it.

Another thing that is MUCH harder to handle as a working mom is night-time waking. It was hard enough when I was a SAHM. Now, it is terrible. Even if I can get her back to sleep in bed with me, the rest of my night's sleep is not as good. My average bedtime is midnight, waking at 6ish. If she wakes up at 4, I only get 4 hours of good sleep and then 2 hours of mediocre sleep.

I won't even touch right now the stress between Vin and I. I knew working would make things stressful. That I have heard from friends. The money situation gets better, but not great. And every other stress factor sky rockets. I think it was surprise to him, though. I have a feeling he thought we would be on easy street once I started working. Life is never that simple.

The good news is that Lilly is really loving her daycare now. I am really getting into my position now at work. I (think) I am doing a good job and am hopefully impressing the powers to be so that I can hopefully obtain a permanent position.

I think the bottom line is that there are difficult things to handle whether you are a working mom or a SAHM. Maybe that is why there is often a battle between the two. It is really our own internal battles coming out to play. I could very easily say to a SAHM that her job is so much easier, based on my own experiences and wants and needs. But when I was a SAHM it was not easy. Money was tight to the point of being non-existent. And lets face it, it can be lonely. Thank God for social media like facebook and MOL and Mothers & More.

Anyway, if you have not guessed, I am writing this at 2am because Lilly has been awake for over an hour. After losing my patience, Vin stepped in and I needed to write to release some of this stress. Writing has always been good for my soul. I think my blood pressure has come back down to normal so wish me luck as I try to get some sleep tonight.

Sleep %&#@ issues

I was thrilled! Last night Lilly slept from 8pm - 6am. Straight...no waking! It was a delight to have uninterrupted sleep. I had planned on sleeping until 7, so 6 was a little early, especially since I was up late cleaning, doing homework and then reading a bit, but that was okay. Now tonight...she woke up at 1:30. I nursed her in her room, tried to put her into the crib and she screamed. I finally brought her into my bed with me. Around 3 she started fussing again. Mostly to let my husband sleep I took her out and brought her back into her room. I tried the crib again - screamed. I took her out and rocked with her in the rocker. Wide awake. We go downstairs and lay together on the couch. She starts talking to the cats. "hi cat" while waving. Eventually I gave up and put Blue's Clues on and we are now watching Sesame Street. So, considering I went to sleep about 12:15, I have gotten a total of 2 hours sleep.

What the heck? This is not the first time this has happened. In fact, it is a pattern. Randomly she will sleep through the night and the next night, maybe 2, is hell. It is bad enough now. How will I handle this if/when I start a full time job in 2 months???

edited to add: She had Motrin right before bed for teething so I do not think that is it.

haha! Life is laughing at me....

So I spoke/wrote to soon. Lilly woke up around 2:30 and slept fitfully form then on. I ended up going into her room with her and trying to get her to sleep in the twin bed with me. Every time I tried to put her in the crib she screamed her head off. When I took her into the bed with me she cried or fussed. I finally spoke very sternly, saying "Lay down." I was at the very end of my rope. I would have actually just let her cry at that point but my husband needs to sleep so that he can go to work in the morning. The way she was screaming...there would be no sleep in our house. And maybe even in out neighbor's house!

The other thing is that she was crying as if something was wrong. I just could not figure out what the heck it was. She had infant Motrin before she went to bed, so I did not think it could be that. I was probably wrong. This morning I was playing with her and I saw a 3rd point poking through her top gums. So at this point she has 2 on the bottom, and on the top she has: 1 broken through, 1 just broken through, and 1 pointy eye tooth beginning to poke through. Poor, poor Lilly. I really wish there was more relief I could give her at night.

I have also remembered that we travelled to PA on Saturday. We had a lovely visit with my in-laws, but it definitely throws off Lilly's schedule. It takes a few days for her to come back to normal. I have also heard and read somewhere that car sleep is not quality sleep. Meaning it does not make up for lost naps. Obviously it is better for us if she sleeps in the car. But maybe it is not better for her? Something to think about.... I will have to try to find that study/article.

Sunday night wind-down

It is Sunday night and I am sitting with my two cats, Calvin and Mr. Hobbes, lying next to me on the couch. They have come to know that when Lilly is in bed I will give them rubs. Sometimes they even wait outside the upstairs gate for me. Sweet guys, even if they do annoy me at times! The best thing is that Lilly has been sleeping better. There are a few things at play there. Her top teeth are basically in. So the torture of the last 2 weeks had a reason behind it. I have instituted a bedtime routine for her. It is not perfect and sometimes, like tonight, she falls asleep before we can get to the routine. LOL I chose a quiet Baby Einstein lullaby CD that I won't want to pitch out the window next week. I play that every time she is going to sleep in her crib, even naps. I usually stop nursing her before she falls asleep so that she is a little awake when I put her in the crib. Sometimes I need her to nurse more than I need to put her into the crib awake, if that makes sense. I had moved up her bedtime by about an hour. On days when I am school, her schedule is totally messed up, but I try to get right back on track the next day.

I have been putting her down for 2 naps. And...she falls asleep on her own most times. I put her in her crib with her blankie and cookie monster and put the music on. I have even left her other toys in there. She will play for several minutes, then lay down and go to sleep. We have one of those video monitors so I can see exactly what is going on. Sometimes she will give a little protesting cry. The great thing with the video monitor is that I can look to see if she is down or up. If she is already laying down with her blankie, I don't need to go in because I know she will be asleep momentarily. If she is hanging on the crib rail, then it is time for me to go in. That was one of the best gifts I did not know I needed!

The good news is that I am slowly feeling that I am a little less sleep deprived. Hopefully over the next few weeks I can catch up on some much-needed sleep, a little at a time.

I am off to do that right now. Lilly will be up for her late-night feeding soon. I am so glad that I had 10 minutes to myself to unwind!

One of those days...

It has been one of those days. I am sleep deprived to the max...stayed up late 3 nights in a row to finish a grad school project/paper. Lilly was nap-resistant today. There are some days when I feel like all I do is attempt to get her to nap. Notice the word attempt!

I never got to the library. I swear they can pay at least one librarian's salary on my fines. Never got to Target to get stuff for Lilly's Easter Basket. Never got to Stop & Shop for garbage bags so we are using the little grocery bags. Never did laundry so Lilly may not have jammies to wear tonight.

Well, at least I got to Whole Foods and bought stuff for dinner and for meatballs. I got dinner on the table at a reasonable hour and it was fairly nutritious. I made mashed potatoes and grilled london broil. Paired it with a steam fresh and we were good to go. Whoever thought of those was brilliant! It makes eating healthy so much more convenient.

I will be making meatballs tomorrow for my friends who just had babies. :) And I am supposed to be gathering Lilly's laundry now from her room so that I can do it after she *hopefully* goes to sleep at a relatively early hour. I won't tell if you won't! wink wink