Not only off the band wagon...

...but run over by it! Seriously, being at home this week has sucked in terms of eating. Couple that with being totally PMSy and an eating machine is born. And not healthy things like carrots and apples. I can start again tomorrow, right? Right? I know I could start right now, but I am not planning on eating anything else tonight as it is after 10pm. I have an 8:30am appointment with the endocrinologist tomorrow so maybe I will have something to post tomorrow. Or maybe not, who knows!?

On a totally different note, I feel like a bad mom today. It was just one of those days when I was feeling PMSy (see above) and Lilly was being a typical toddler who does not usually get to see Mommy all day. She had tantrums about e.v.e.r.y. thing and I was not the most patient mommy today. I was crying about it later and she said, "Mommy sad?" I told her that yes, I was sad because sometimes mommies get sad too, but I was okay. I smiled at her and she gave me a kiss. That only made me feel even worse. I am resolved to be a better mom tomorrow. Today (and yesterday to be honest) were just bad days. I know I am a good mom. I do. I just get down on myself sometimes.

Blogging report

There are several blogs I follow on a semi-regular basis. I used to follow them religiously when I was a SAHM. One in particular, My Four Monkeys, has giveaways that are pretty awesome. I have not won anything yet but hope to in the near future! So all you Moms and Dads out there who read my blog, get yourself over to win something soon! Here are some of the current giveaways: The Very Best of Enya collection, Bob the Builder and Madeline DVDs, and Castle Company soaps to name just a few.

Check out the blog and let me know if you win anything!

Here is another giveaway contest on Love That Max. It is for 3 free books! There are other giveaway contests on this blog from time to time. Other than that, it is a really cool blog about a Mom's journey with her son Max who happens to have Cerebral Palsy. Enjoy!

cleaning my tub

I know it is not very "green" of me, but I love new cleaning products. Generally ones that allow me to work less for better results. Enter the Kaboom tub cleaner. It sprays on as blue foam and turns white when it is ready to wipe off and rinse. I used it on my tub tonight after Lilly was asleep. We have really hard water in Union so even when the tub is clean, I don't feel that it is clean. Well, tonight my tub feels clean. That foam works!! I am so excited. The downfall is that I felt like the foam was spraying into my nose a bit. But that is most likely due to my overzealous spraying action. Now if only my tub was large enough to be comfortable for me. I miss my South Orange tub. I could practically lay down in it. In my current tub, Lilly basically fills the tub when she "swims". Yeah, it is that small. I practically had to be pried out when I was pregnant.

Next week I am going to re-caulk the tub. I know that it is really my landlord's problem, but I would rather just do it.

On a WW note, I kind of went off the wagon a bit, BUT I did account for the points. And I did not go crazy, just allowed myself some treats.

week 2

So week 1 was tough. I was pretty hungry a lot of the time. But what that made me realize was how much I was eating before. The truth is that I used to know how to eat well and how much of something to eat. The truth is that I have not been eating that way for a long time. I could come up with reasons why that happened but that would just be excusing myself. So I need to be hungry for a little bit. It is not the end of the world. The question is what am I going to do when I am hungry? More on that at another time.

So I go to weigh myself Sunday morning and the scale does its zeroing out thing, and then....lo. I need a new battery. Are you serious? I had weighed myself Saturday morning, just to see, so I had an idea. If I go by that weight, which I guess I need to, I lost 2.2 lbs. So not crazy weight but enough to keep me going.

Of course tonight I had a calzone for dinner. What was I thinking? I was not feeling well, belly-wise since yesterday and did not eat much last night or today and when I thought of what I wanted, a calzone was it. So I ate it. It was delicious but sat in my belly like a lead balloon. I am really trying to look at all this as a learning experience. I think it is even a milestone to have the thought of. "I don't want to feel like this." That means that I am not overeating the majority of my meals.

I also learned today that when I have had a bad night, like last night, I am more likely to eat whatever and make poor decisions. Granted, I was queasy still, but I did not eat for a long time today. Then when I did eat I was really hungry.

So tomorrow I start fresh. On a positive note, I bought new shoes and they fit! Anyone who really knows me knows how impossible it is for me to buy cute shoes that fit well. Pictures to come later!

WW update

This week was kind of one to start weight watchers. But I guess that is good in a way. Vin and I had a lot of things going on which prevented me from getting to the gym at all. Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day which is a major celebration in my house. Soda bread with butter, guiness and cupcakes were consumed. THe good thing is that I did track it all. I had to use my flex points every day this week, but I still have some left for Friday and Saturday. I was really hoping I would not use them all or at least have more left to spend on Saturday. But you know what, I am not going to beat myself up about it. I have definitely cut down on my food intake by a lot. I am hungry a lot, which tells me that I was snacking (on candy) way too much. I am writing every morsel that goes into my mouth down in my log and making myself accountable for the points. I am paying more attention to serving size. Bottom line is that I am more conscious of what food/liquid is going into my mouth.

Saturday is a free night for Vin and I because Lilly is going to her grandma's in PA for an overnight. If I decide to have a drink or two and I am out of flex points, so be it. It is not every week that we get a free Saturday night and I think the 1st few weeks are about figuring out how much I was eating compared to how much I should be eating.

Today I had one of the yummiest lunches ever. I had some Boar's Head turkey at home, but nothing to eat with it so I threw a few slices into a baggie and brought it with me to work. I got the Subway veggie delight with O&V and lots of veggies and added my turkey. It was SO delicious and yummy and really fillling.

Off to sleep. I am hoping Lilly sleeps all night in her bed. Or at least until 6am.