Transitions

I've been asked a few times recently about when I was going to write something new.  I wasn't sure.  I am still not sure why I haven't really written since Thanksgiving.  A busy life is one answer, but not the complete truth.  I just was not inspired to write about anything in particular.  Or maybe I had too many topics from which to choose?   My life was in flux.  

My husband started a new job.  This was HUGE.  It has been so great for all of us.  But change, even when it is positive, is tricky.  Responsibilities and expectations have to be adjusted.  Who is doing Lilly drop-off, pick-up?  Who has to stay late, go in early or has an appointment?  Who is doing the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry?  After he was home for 2 1/2 years, this was just one big giant transition.  Again...good problems to have, but mentally, they wiped me out!

I have not even posted about Christmas!  It was a wonderful Christmas and Lilly loved everything about it.  We had fun with Sha-la-la, our Elf on the Shelf.  We have been to tons of birthday parties for Lilly's classmates.  We bought a new car!  

Our elf Sha-la-la visited our gingerbread house.

One thing that haunts me a bit, because I have written about it so many times, is my stalled weight loss.  I am still having issues with the plantar fasciitis which makes walking, my preferred form of exercise, darn near impossible.  I have to walk for my job, so I do that.  But to exercise before or after work is daunting.  If I had an elliptical or bike I think I would be okay, and swimming, as always, would be amazing.  But I do not have those options right now.  

I had decided that I was not going to beat myself up about eating and enjoying cookies or other food over the holidays.  And I didn't.  What good is eating a cookie if I was going to beat myself up after?  And I baked lots of cookies!  I tried all of them.  That would have been a lot of negative feelings.  

A sampling of the cookies and fudge I made for friends and family.

Additionally, I was found to have low thyroid and put on some medication.  I had gained about 10 of the pounds back that I had lost since June.  I had noticed the weight gain at the same time I noticed the other symptoms that sent me to my doctor.  In my head I had really believed that the weight would come off when I started the medicine.  Yeah, that hasn't happened.  Meanwhile, I have been eating so much healthier since the holidays ended.  I was actually so sick of sugar by New Year's Eve that I considered giving it up completely!  I keep waiting to lose the weight again, but it doesn't want to go anywhere right now.

I have blogged about losing weight so much that I was feeling embarrassed about not only not losing more weight but gaining weight.  It weighed on me.  No pun intended.  

Well, I am back.  I am me.  I have been working really hard, personally, to not let my weight and size define me.  I have let it for for too long.  That goes for my writing and blogging, too.  It is part of what I write about, but not the only thing.  Do I want to be healthier?  Yes.  Do I want to set healthy eating examples for Lilly?  Hell yeah!  But I am not going to wait to lose weight before writing and blogging again.  Welcome back to me!!  

The weekend that wasn't

Sunday night.  What is it about Sunday night that feels so rushed?  Hectic?  Like I forgot to do something everything, over the weekend?  I tend to feel like that a lot during the school year and I definitely did the first week or so of camp.  But then we kind of settled into our routine.  I need to remember so much for Lilly and myself every single day that Sundays were no big deal.

And then Lilly got sick.

Thursday night she had a fever, but no accompanying seizure, and seemed perky and fine in the morning.  I wished she would have been able to stay home, but Vin was out all morning trying to take care of some car issues.  Since she was happy and the fever was not being what I like to call pervasive (creeping up between ibuprofen doses) I let her go to camp.  I brought her to get a temp check after nap and it was completely normal.  By the bus ride home a few hours later I knew it was back.  We are the first to be dropped off on our bus route, and I was thanking God for that on Friday.  As soon as her backpack was off I checked her temperature under her arm...100.9.  And you add 1 to 2 degrees for the armpit measure.  I gave her ibuprofen and gave her an ice pop as a snack.  About 15 minutes later she was sitting on the couch between Vin and I and the seizure hit.  I had been waiting for it to happen.  I just knew she was going to have one, as much as I was trying to prevent it.  It was a short one...3 minutes or so, but it really took a lot out of her.  And me.

I am sure I don't need to say it but I will.  My weekend was shot.  We obviously cancelled our trip down for my Godson's birthday party.  I was as much concerned for Lilly as I was for my newborn niece and all the other children who would be in attendance.  Lilly was not herself all day.  The fever became the pervasive type where I had to piggyback the tylenol and advil.

Today she was a bit better but we were all tired.  I got some laundry and grocery shopping done.  But the laundry is in a basket, and will most likely remain there as we wear our camp clothes out of it each day.  I did not bring the camp groceries up to camp but I will have bags with me on the bus tomorrow.  I have lunch and breakfast stuff for Lilly and I for the week and dinner ingredients for a few days, at least.

And Lilly is okay.  As Dr. Mom my diagnosis is hand, foot, mouth.  I had heard that it was going around so I was not surprised when she told me that her mouth hurt this evening.  Sure enough she has the blisters in her mouth.  My poor bunny.  I am going to have Vin bring her to the doctor tomorrow just to confirm and rule out strep.  I never fool around with strep.  But as long as the advil is in her system she is peppy and twirling and dancing to her many movies and shows that she got to watch this weekend.

I am feeling rather like I want a weekend do-over.  Anyone else in with me?

Too much TV?

I have always been the type to have something on while I am home, whether it be the TV, radio, etc.  Even when writing a 20 page research paper I needed the TV on.  And to be perfectly honest, that is how I have remained, even with a little one in the house.  Lately I know it has been getting a bit out of control because Lilly always wants the television on now.  What it came down to was that  I needed Lilly to be able to watch a show or two so that I could get dinner ready after getting home from a full work day.  And when she is not feeling well, we let her watch her favorite Little Bear because it always makes her happy.  I know, I know, it sounds like I am making excuses, and maybe I am.

However, summer is here and I am home with Lilly for two months, minus a few days here and there.  I have formulated a plan of sorts.  My plan is to let her watch some, Sesame Street or the like, in the morning while we eat breakfast.  Let's face it, I am not at my best until I am a little awake and have imbibed some coffee.  Additionally, I am planning on doing some early morning chores that I have generally left for later in the day.  So if I can unload the dishwasher, etc. while making aforementioned coffee, I will be ahead of the game.

Then during the witching hour we might put on a little Fresh Beat Band or Yo Gabba Gabba.  That is when I can get dinner started.  Obviously things might change based on weather or if she gets sick (please don't get sick!) or if I just need a little break!

You might be asking what prompted this.  Lilly and I came downstairs this evening after we had been putting away laundry.  Vinnie had gone to pick up the pizza and the TV was not on.  Today was a beautiful day in the Northeast and I had the windows open to let in the fabulous breezes.  Lilly sat at the coffee table with some markers and a coloring book and all of a sudden I heard it.  The silence.  I have become so accustomed to background noise that its absence was just delightful.  I realized in that moment that I wanted to cut down on my need for the TV and radio.  I will keep you all updated on how I am doing with this new undertaking.  I think I will find a lot more time to get stuff done!