Peace

This morning on our way to school, Lilly and I prayed the rosary for peace.  I felt called to do so last night as I was watching President Obama's speech about Syria.  When I am driving to school, I am basically driving as close to NYC as I can get without going through a tunnel.  Hence, I see the Empire State Building and the Freedom Tower every day.  This year I explained to Lilly in the most simplistic (age-appropriate) way possible why there is a Freedom Tower.  We include the people who keep us safe in our  nightly bedtime prayers.  It is never, ever an easy thing to discuss violence with our chidlren, but I believe it is as important as it is hard to do.

It takes a lot longer to say the rosary with a 5 year old, but I believe those prayers...those of our children...are heard loudest of all. Her vision of peace is most likely a lot different than mine.  But doesn't it start with our 5 year olds?  If our 5 year olds do not have peace in their lives, I cannot see how they can grow up to be peaceful adults.

So today, and every day, let us PRAY for peace.  Let us TEACH peace.  Let us ACT peacefully.  And let it begin with ourselves.  And our little ones.

My baby is in kindergarten!

Lilly's 1st Day of Kindergarten.  

I feel like Lilly should be entering preschool for the first time, or even just learning to walk.  But instead she has begun kindergarten.  Her journey of learning has just taken a huge leap.  I remember when she was a baby and people would say that time flies, and that she'll be grown before I know it.  Well, they weren't lying.  There are some days when I just cannot believe it.  It feels like yesterday that she was in my womb, sticking her toes in between my ribs.  (I can still feel that spot sometimes!)  

Ocean Grove, NJ

That's why sometimes I just need to take a day off; get off this crazy ride we call life.  I took Lilly down the shore.  One day.  One day was what I absolutely, positively needed, though more would have been nice.  We both needed to feel the sand between our toes, the waves washing over us, hearing them crash against the shore.  It was seriously one of the best days of my life with Lilly.  Lilly is her mother's daughter, in her love of the shore.  (Yes, in NJ we go to the shore.)  I had to drag her from the ocean to drink non-salty water.  She was completely covered in sand when she was out of the water.  She was riding waves in.  "I'm bodysurfing, momma!"  We took our time going there in the morning.  We stayed on the beach until we got to hungry for dinner.  It was just...the best.

Moments before she dashed off to the surf.

I promise she was smiling.  It was super bright!  

Camp begins!

Camp begins tomorrow and runs for 7 weeks. I'm excited even though I know how tired in going to be. It's different than my usual job. And sometimes different is good.  It allows me to explore different sides of myself. Wish me luck on my adventure!

Yoga

I have written about yoga before, about how it makes me feel better.  I have written about how I sometimes struggle with acceptance of where I am now, in yoga.  My flexibility is not what it used to be.  I need to modify poses a lot.  I cannot stay in them as long as I was once able.  yada yada yada, blah blah blah.  It's all useless chatter, really, those thoughts.

Part of the anxiety I have been feeling lately has caused me to breathe very shallowly, which then constricts blood flow to muscles and joints.  My acupuncturist was explaining this to me and asked me to spend several minutes daily just breathing deeply.  I have been doing that and I can definitely feel the difference in the tenseness of my body...my jaw, my shoulders, etc.

Recently I started doing a yoga journal dvd introduction to ashtanga.  What I love about ashtanga yoga is that it is all about connecting the breath to the movement.  It has really helped me get into a pose and stay there longer.  It's quieting all that chatter going on in my head, because if I am concentrating on breathing deeply I cannot hear the negative voices.

Today I didn't feel great, so I did a restorative yoga video.  The instructor has some good tidbits that I want to share with you, but I am too tired to remember them exactly.  Needless to say, I am feeling better, both physically and emotionally, having made yoga an important part of my day.

My time

Hey all!  I know I haven't been writing much.  I have had another writing project going on, that has kind of taken up my time.  It's exciting for me because it is a totally new project, but fits me well.  I wish I could be less vague about it, but the company prefers that I write as "the company" and not let myself be known, yet.

Plus, you know, life.  It gets busy around these months for teachers.

I've been in a fitness/weight loss slump.  But I feel the tides changing.  You know when you just get sick of feeling sick?  That is kind of how I feel right now.  I know that cutting dairy and sugar out/down makes me feel better.  I know that yoga makes me feel better.  I just gotta do it.  I really do, because I am so sick of feeling like this.  I just have to get over that hump.  You know the one I mean.  The one that tells you that you cannot, absolutely not live without candy.  Or doughnuts.  Or mac & cheese.  Or ice cream.  Or whatever it is that makes you feel oh so good when you take those first bites.  But truth?  I don't just take one bite.  Ever.  And another truth?  My tummy really hurts when I eat that shit.  My body starts to get achey.  I get tired and lethargic.  Like, too tired to do yoga or go for a walk, the very things that make me feel better.

Melanie, you are saying, you have told us this before.  Yeah, I know I have.  Such is the journey of life, my friends.  Sometimes we have to make mistakes a few (lots of) times before we get it.  I think this is my time....