late September already?

This past week was super hectic and all my good intentions to update this blog went right out the window. September has been insanely packed from the get-go, actually and I rather hope that it calms down a bit.

My co-worker who was out for a broken leg is back and we are now really getting underway.  I actually have a schedule for this week and I am excited to throw myself into it all.  I know that I will be very busy in the weeks and months to come and I am pretty happy about that.  Leaving Lilly breaks my heart almost every morning as she clings to my leg and tells me she wants to go to work with me.  I know that she is fine and playing with Vin within minutes of my departure, but the crying just adds to my sadness at being away from her all day.

I really love working and feeling as if I am using my graduate degree for which I worked very hard.  I know that I need to work, regardless of how I feel about it.  I am very fortunate to be home so early in the day, as compared to my friends who take the train into NYC and get home by 7pm.

I just miss her so and I want to be the one to teach her and play with her and....I could go on and on.  Vinnie is doing well with her while I am gone and she goes to her daycare 2 days a week now.  She is having a bit of a hard time adjusting to that, but I knew that was likely.    She has friends in school and she learns so much from them.  She comes home singing new songs and is counting in English and Spanish and recognizing many letters.  She loves to pretend play and it has become more complicated and involved.  She is starting to really recognize simple feelings, both in herself and others.  Lilly is just growing up before my very eyes!

Regarding my exercise and eating habits....it all went out the window, but is about to walk right back in that door.  I want to go to they gym, I was just insanely tired the first few weeks of school, and then did not feel too hot this past week with the blasted allergies.  This week I start again.  Back to the gym and back to healthier eating.  I promise!

life got too personal...

I was on such a good blogger wave, blogging away about all aspects of life.  And then the proverbial shit hit the fan.  My hubby was laid off from his job in the beginning of August.  I really try to be as truthful as possible in my blogging and, because we were not ready to share that information yet, I had to abstain.

It will actually work out well right now.  Last semester was his 1st in college and as 1st semesters go, it was a good one but tough.  I was not sure if he was really feeling ready to tackle this fall semester.  Since he no longer has a job he is tackling it full force.  He will still be going part time at night, but I know that he is taking it seriously.  He has been home with Lilly the past 2 weeks while I started back at work.  Just call him Mr.Mom.  Does it make me sad that I am not the one at home with her?  Of course!  But I also know that she is in good hands and it is a wonderful opportunity that Vin has to spend this kind of time with her.  Already I am seeing a change in how she interacts with him and it makes my heart smile.  Next week Lilly will be going back to daycare 2 days a week.  Vin needs the time to get his resume in order and do homework and job searches and it will be good for Lilly to have that social interaction.  She is a bright, active and social little girl and she enjoys school.  

I am back in the throes of the school year.  Wow, is it different than my last position.  I love the people with whom I am working, what I am doing and the town where I am doing it.  Hoboken is such a unique place...it is really indescribable.  The parking is terrible and right now I have to move my car every 4 hours.  Hopefully I will be able to buy a parking permit (to the tune of $300!) so I can at least park for the day.  Also, being so close to NYC I have to leave my house by 7am to get there and parked by 8:20. 

Not only do I love what I am doing but I am so lucky to be starting off the school year in NJ with a job.  So many of my fellow teachers had been laid off in June and still do not have jobs.  I have a job with amazing health benefits and a decent salary.  

Here is a recent picture of Lilly & I.  

I think this post is long enough.  I have other thoughts to share about my exercise routine, weight loss, and my summer travels.  They can wait for another day.  

....and I got the job!

Thanks to everyone for the prayers/positive vibes/encouraging thoughts/etc.  They worked I got the job in Hoboken.  I am really, really excited about this!  If you are my facebook friend you already know about it. Basically I will be a support for teachers in the preschool classrooms.  The great thing is that I will be working through the Board of Education so I get to transfer my pension and I get all the BOE perks (namely, health insurance).  It will be a new position for me, but not a 360 from what I have been doing this past year.  I love Hoboken and the people who live and work there.  The commute sucks.  A lot.  But it is less miles to Hoboken than to new Brunswick.  For those not familiar with NJ, I will be driving with the traffic going to NYC.  Hoboken is the last exit before the Lincoln and Holland tunnels to NYC.  So you can imagine at 8am it is a bit of a mess.  But I did it for 5 years and I was way less organized then.  Funny how kids force you to get organized, huh!

It is 11pm on Sunday night and I want to get a little reading in before I turn off the lights so this is good night.  I started this series last week and am on the latest book.  Of course when I am done I will need to wait until the author publishes a new one.  I hope everyone has a great week!  Oh, and if you are not a follower but read my blog please consider following it!  Thanks  :)

catching-up

I have not written in what feels like ages because life has been a little hectic.  I have gone on 2 interviews: 1 for Early Intervention which I was offered on the spot and 1 for a position in Hoboken for the BOE.  More on that 2nd one later this week, I hope.  The Early Intervention position is hourly but functions more like a contract.  I can work around my schedule and have as many/few clients as I can handle.  This is something I have really wanted to do so I am thrilled by this opportunity.  I am hoping that I will be able to build a relationship with this company and then if/when we decide to expand our family it will allow me to stay home with #2 a little longer than I would otherwise be able.

In the midst of graduation, being let go, interviewing, etc. I was also dealing with Lilly getting sick.  Again.  It started off in her usual way...with a febrile seizure.  We brought her to the doctor and was told she had laryngitis/croup and to expect the barky cough to start that night.  Sure enough it started about midnight.  Well by day 2 of the cough and shortness of breath I was getting very concerned.  I had really been trying to be calm because I know so many people end up in the ER unnecessarily.  I called the doctor before I put her to bed Thursday (we had been to see him on Tuesday) and based on her symptoms he told us to go straight to the ER.  Now, I was thinking as we walked in that it was kind of sad and disconcerting that I was beginning to know many of the faces in the pediatric ER.  Lilly was seen ultra quickly and was given an oral dose of a strong steroid to calm her breathing.  It worked within the hour and we were on our way home.

By Saturday Lilly seemed to be on the mend.  Her temperature was back down in the 97s without ibuprofen and her cough was barely noticeable.  She had a slight runny nose, as expected.  Sunday morning I woke up to her having a febrile seizure in the bed next to me.  Vin and I got dressed and brought her to ER once again.  There seemed to be no infection and nothing else going on.  Back home we went but since it was Sunday of Memorial Day weekend I was glad we went.  Plus the ER doc told me that I should always bring her if I feel I need to, especially after a seizure.

I have an appointment for the diagnostic testing Lilly needs for the day after my last day of work.  i am not thrilled that she will be sedated for approximately 1.5 hours, but at least we will rule out any other causes of the seizures.

Meanwhile I have been trying to work out with the wii when I can.  I REALLY want to get back to the gym as well, but finding the time seems impossible.  And food, well, I have not lost and I am trying not to beat myself up for stress eating when Lilly was sick.  At least I know that when I am stress eating now it is still not nearly as bad as before.  Like I might have a doughnut.  Okay, 2 doughnuts.  But I am not eating doughnuts, cookies and 2nd helpings of dinner and maybe some ice cream after.

As an aside, Lilly has been obsessed with "ham" or Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss for the uninitiated.  I think Vinnie and I know that book by heart.  Her next fave is There is a Monster at the End of this Book.  She CRACKS up!!   To know Lilly really is to love her.  She just lights up my world.  Which reminds me...only 12 more work days until I am home with my bunny for the summer!!!

Hopeful day

Today I had an interview.  I think it was a great interview.  I may or may not have be what they are looking for, but either way I think it was successful.  I was confident and knowledgeable and I don't think I said "um" too many times.  I am really trying to be open about this whole situation.  If the job is meant to be mine that it will be.  If it is not, then something else will come along.

And you know, even though I detest the Hoboken traffic, it was good to be back!

New Day, New Perspective

Just a quick note before I leave for work this morning.  I had a great night of sleep (thank you Lilly!) and was able to wake up refreshed with a new perspective on this whole job situation.  Well, maybe not a brand new perspective, but there are some new thoughts.

I am going to do the best job I can for the remainder of my time there.  My job is to support the teachers, and in that I support the children.  I am going to get the most out of this job - experience wise - as I can in the next 7 weeks.  I am not going to stress over the team dynamics, which are pretty terrible and stress me out many days.  I am going to get great references from my co-workers and my directors for that job that I know is waiting for me.  I am going to be grateful for my experience this year as a working mom because it has changed how I work with parents and has given me more empathy in that area.  I am going to look forward to being a SAHM again for the summer (and perhaps beyond).  I am going to be open to any and all possibilities of being a work-at-home mom, consultant, anything!

And right now I am going to go clean up cat puke before I step in it on my way out the door!

Colliding emotions

Singing Happy Birthday to Lilly with my hubby

Pops throws Lilly "Up, Pop, Up"

Traditionally, May is an extremely busy month for me.  Vinnie's birthday starts off the festivities on April 26th.  Lilly comes next on May 7th followed by my birthday on May 9th.  This year my birthday happened to be on Mother's Day.  Lilly's birthday party was the 8th and then we celebrated Mother's Day and my birthday at my parents' house on the 9th.  I was a little bummed because Vinnie was in immense pain on Mother's Day and was not really able to do for me what he had planned (breakfast in bed and letting me sleep in).  He ended up needing an emergency root canal today - poor guy!  

Watching Lilly grow up is just amazing for me.  I am loving it, even if some moments are more stressful than others.  I really want another baby but I am also making sure I enjoy this time with her.  It is a wonderful journey.  But it is bittersweet, isn't it, to watch our babies grow up before our very eyes?

Coming off the high of a celebratory weekend I was not feeling well this morning and took 1/2 a sick day.  I went into work for noon and remembered that I had a staff meeting.  The atmosphere at work has been so tense as people wait to hear if they will have a job next year or not.  Staff meetings tend to bring out the worst in people during these times.  At the end of today's meeting my director asked me to stay after and that I would be called down when it was time.  It was just myself and one other co-worker who started with me.  We knew what that meant.  I could write on about how the letting go was approached and the insensitivity of the director of HR, but really that does not matter.

What matters is that I will not have this job in this district next year.  Relationships I have carefully cultivated with the preschool center directors, teachers and other staff will no longer be.  My little office space will be cleaned out in June and someone else's pictures will be put up next September.  Or maybe not.  The people I work with tend to keep their personal lives separate from work.  I have never been great with that.  I have pictures of Lilly and Vinnie posted on my bulletin board at eye level.  Because the truth is that my family comes first before anything else.

I knew that this was the most likely scenario for me because of the budget cuts in NJ and the fact that I am a leave replacement.  But you know what?  It really is not helpful when people say, "Oh you knew it was coming."  Yes, I was not taken by complete surprise but it is still sad and still puts me in the position of looking for a job for next year in a very unstable economic climate in education.

I do have an interview later this week and I am SOOO excited about it.  I am also going to look into teaching online college classes.  Vinnie suggested I try to blog more and see what I can do with it.  I know I will be okay and I am grateful for the experience.

My sadness has collided with my excitement and happiness over Lilly's birthday.  I will not let it take away from it, but it will take a bit to recover.

Thanks for all the support...

updating my resume

As fellow New Jerseyans know, the state of affairs in education is a hot mess.  That being said, I believe that I will not be offered a position for the 2010-2011 school year.  The person I am replacing is coming back, as far as anyone knows.  The position that my supervisor had hoped I would be able to fill in September due to a retirement is not going to be posted (meaning they are not replacing the retiree.)

Yesterday one of my former colleagues from Hoboken let me know that they are hiring there.  I had my hubby look online and the postings had closed as of 4/16.  He suggested I email the director and let her know I was interested and that I would email my resume later.

I did so and updated my resume last night.  I emailed an awesome cover letter ( in my opinion) and my resume late last night.  I am cautiously optimistic about the opportunities there.  They are hiring for 3 positions, 2 of which I am definitely qualified and 1 is a maybe.  I have the great advantage of having worked in the district for a preschool provider previously, left to finish grad school and be home with the baby a bit and then gained experience in another, much larger district.  But, I love Hoboken.  It was a great place to work and I would love to work there again.  The commute sucks.  But I am much more organized in the mornings now, by necessity, so leaving early might not be as hard as it was before.

I know I am getting ahead of myself here, but I am excited about the possibility.  It gives me hope, and I really needed that about now.

Hooray!!!

I got the job in New Brunswick!! Hooray! I don't know when I can start because I need to get re-fingerprinted. Oh well. At least I know that I have one. I set up the appointments for my my fingerprints and physical/Mantoux test for early next week. Hopefully I don't have to wait for the next board meeting to start working. That would be the end of October!

Can you believe....

....I am still waiting to hear about that New Brunswick position. What the heck?? I have just about given up, BUT, positions are still open on their website. I sincerely hope that if they do call me that they do not expect me to be available the next day. I mean, hello, childcare, clothing, etc. need at least a few days to be planned. Right now I don't feel like I can plan in advance because I was given no time frame. Oh well....

Big Day

There were 2 big things that happened today. I will start with the good news. I received a phone call today from New Brunswick letting me know that they were recommending me for a position. It was not the position for which I had interviewed, but still a great one. It may even be a better fit for me. I would be a member of the PIRT = preschool intervention & referral team. The members of the team help support the teachers in a variety of ways. The team is made up of 2 social workers, a LDTC and 2 part-time speech therapists. The position is for someone who will be out on leave for the entire school year. I am not worried about that right now. I know a lot of people who got their starts in districts that way. The catch is that HR has to offer the position. So it is not officially mine until I get that call from HR, which could be a few days from now. I had a really great conversation with the director of early childhood and she was excited for me to bring my perspective of INCLUSION to the PIRT. Cross your collective fingers that I get a call from HR!!

Unfortunately I received this call while I was in the ER with Lilly. She woke up for her early morning feeding (6amish) and I brought her into bed with us so I could nurse. I realized that she had stopped nursing so I went to put her back on and I realized immediately that she was in the throes of a seizure. I woke Vinnie and told him to call 911 while I held our baby girl. It was awful. Her lips were turing blue and she was twitching and limp all at the same time. Her eyes were rolling back in her head and had shallow breathing. We checker her temp and it was 101.5. She finally came out of it (but was very out of it) about a minute before the EMTs got to our house. It seemed like she was in it forever, or at least 5 minutes.

Vinnie went with Lilly in the rig while I got dressed and followed. The ER staff was very kind and was convinced that it was just a febrile seizure but wanted us to stay for a bit. She slept and nursed most of the morning. Our pediatrician wanted to rule out an UTI so we then had to wait for her to pee in the little bag they attached. After almost 2 hours of no pee they decided to catheterize and of course she peed. :) Thankfully there was no sign of infection anywhere. The best guess is a viral infection with just fever.

It was truly one of the longest days of our lives.

Finally!

On the advice of a few trusted friends I sent another email to New Brunswick regarding the position for which I interviewed. I was cautious about doing so because I did not want to come across as pushy/desperate/pain in the ass. But everyone said one email/phone call a week is acceptable. I finally got a response back today saying that they are still interviewing and that the decision will be made by Friday. I am so glad that I got a response! And I still feel as if I am in the running.

I have been advised to write another letter asking if they are looking for something that I did not present in the interview, since they are atill interviewing. I am not sure how I feel about that. I am kind of thinking that might be too pushy. What to do, what to do??

about.com

I submitted an application to be a guide for about.com. Technically I do not have the experience in publishing and web publishing that they look for. But, hey, it's worth a shot!

nervous but confident

I have an interview tomorrow at 1pm and I am a little nervous. I was not nervous before but I am now. I feel pretty confident though. I am not sure what position I am interviewing for... they are hiring at least one preschool disabled teacher and at least one preschool inclusion specialist, which is the position I applied for in my cover letter. I have a ton of preschool experience and inclusion experience. To top it off this is what my Masters is geared toward basically.

This job would mean very good things for our family. We will be able to pay off bills, save some money so we can have another baby and buy a house. I am sad thinking about putting Lilly in full time day care but I know that she will be more than okay, she will be great. She is super social and loves to play with other children.

I won't be finished with school until December so the fall semester will be rough, but it will only be temporary.

So please say prayers and cross fingers and do what ever you do that I get this position!

Thanks!

jobs

I have been applying like mad for a teaching or early intervention position. I had one interview last month and I did not get the job. On Monday I submitted my resume/application for a job in New Brunswick that seems like it is perfect for me. I received an email last night asking me to call them to discuss my credentials. Yeah! I am so hopeful for this job. It would be a far drive and tough with school during the fall semester. But I think it would be worth it. So cross your fingers for me!

Oh My!

Life has been very busy the past few weeks and that has obviously shown on my blog. I am doing a practicum for my graduate degree. It requires me to work 12 hours/week for 6 weeks at the Children's Center at Montclair State University. It is a good experience, except for a few things. The main thing is that I am paying (tuition) to work there and things are very financially tight for us. I asked to be in an infant room so that I can get more experience with infants with special needs. I am working with a little boy who has Down's syndrome. It is definitely different than what I am used to so I am grateful for that experience. It does not stop me from counting the hours...24 down 51 to go. Or, 2 weeks down 4 to go. Or, 1/3 completed! Sad, I know.

What else...I am looking for jobs. I am looking for jobs for September...teaching, early intervention, etc. I am also looking for something to get us through the summer...Rita's Ice, Target, Home Depot...anything I can do at night when Vin can stay with Lilly, really. Anyone have any leads for me??