|Long hair (after being done at the salon)|
I resorted to the ponytail almost daily. And no matter what my beautiful co-workers think, this hair just does not get the same kind of body that their stunning Latino hair gets. But the main thing was the ponytail. I hate putting it in every day, but it is so darn convenient. Sweaty? Ponytail. Late for work? Ponytail. Too humid or not humid enough? Yup...in a ponytail. Even if I started the day with gorgeous hair, by mid afternoon it was up in a ponytail.
Yet something was keeping me from cutting my hair, and I had a difficult time figuring it out. To be honest, I am not 100% sure I get it now. I just became attached to my long hair. I was feeling that it defined me somehow. When I saw pictures of myself I thought it made me look prettier or younger. Or both. But it was not just that.
Maybe it hid me. I feel more vulnerable with short hair. More "out there" or something. My neck is literally out in the open, exposed. I get noticed more. Attention to my physical attributes makes me feel anxious. I have worked hard at accepting compliments. Truthfully? I still don't always believe them. I always want to attach a qualifier to the end. Kind of like this: Mel, you look beautiful! Thank you, even though I still need to lose a lot of weight. Obviously I don't say those things out loud. But I think them. And it sounds really loud in my head.
The realization of how attached I was to my hair coupled with the reason behind it helped propel me to the decision to go under the scissors. I was even brave enough to go to someone who was in training at my salon. gulp. Every step was cleared by a senior stylist, so I was not too nervous. I am really happy with my hair cut and with what I look like right now. Every once in a while I get a small flashback thought of my long hair. Most of the time, I am loving the short cut, even if my neck is out there just a bit more.
|Ta-Da!! The short hair.|