Mommy confession #578

Confession:  My daughter colored on the wall after her nap one day and I left it there.  I was quite adamant that it was not to happen again.  But I could not bring myself to wash off her mural.  I walked in and she said, "Mommy, I made a rainbow and my name."  This was about 6 months ago.  Maybe 3 months later she did add to it.  And I left that, too.  She loves sleeping under her pictures.  I love seeing them.


So what prompted this confession?  A friend of mine posted pictures of toddler destruction today that included powder covering the entire room.  It reminded me of all the little moments, that seemed like big moments at the time, when I would walk into: ointment on the stuffed piggy, tissues torn into little pieces, an entire box of wipes emptied, powder sprinkled everywhere and yes, murals on the wall.  And truthfully, those moments are some of my most favorite memories of Lilly.  I hope that I can continue to find the joy in those moments.  I mean, who can really resist a diaper ointment covered piggy bum?

Mural #2

Original mural

Potty Training

Oh lordy....we are in full potty training mode at the Cappiello house.  The funny thing is that Lilly has been  going on the potty since she was about 19-20 months.  It was not all the time, but there was some consistency, i.e. before and after bath.  She would even tell me sometimes and I would race her to the bathroom and she would go.  She stopped a lot of that after some of her seizures in recent months.  I think going on the potty took a back seat, which was fine.  Still, when she poops she tells me and she wants to get changed immediately.  Randomly in the past few weeks she would tell me that she had to go potty, even in places like the grocery store.  Sure enough she would go when I would put her on.  And frankly, I wanted to train her during the early part of the summer so that she has a chance to become very successful before she gets to school (daycare) in the fall.

So I have been staying at home with her so that we do not chance a pee pee accident in the car.  It has actually worked out rather well because we are in the middle of a pretty crazy heat wave her in the Northeast.  It hit 104 or so the other day!  Lilly is doing well.  Today is day 3. She will pee a tiny bit and then tell me she has to go potty and we run to the potty and she goes.  So she is catching herself before it starts running down her leg.  That is better than she did the first day so we have made real progress in 2 days.  Of course she has waited for nap time when she wears a diaper to poop.  I have a feeling that we might encounter some resistance with that portion.

In other news...I think that we are both adjusting to being home together.  In the beginning of the summer vacay she wanted to nurse all the time, especially when laying down for nap.  She has not nursed for nap time in ages, unless she was ill.  But I guess she was thinking, "You are home, I am home, let's nurse!"  Unfortunately for Lilly I was not on the same wavelength.  It took a few days of crying before she eventually fell asleep but she is doing really well with going right in now.  And when she awakens she plays in her room quietly for a bit.  Lilly has also been waking up later in the morning and staying in her room and playing.  This has been delightful!  The first few days that Vin left for work without taking Lilly to school she cried and cried.  The poor thing had no idea why Daddy was leaving without her.  She is over that by now, too.  We have a follow up doctor's appointment next week with the neurologist so I will give that update then.

Wish me success in potty training and stay cool everyone!

Not only off the band wagon...

...but run over by it! Seriously, being at home this week has sucked in terms of eating. Couple that with being totally PMSy and an eating machine is born. And not healthy things like carrots and apples. I can start again tomorrow, right? Right? I know I could start right now, but I am not planning on eating anything else tonight as it is after 10pm. I have an 8:30am appointment with the endocrinologist tomorrow so maybe I will have something to post tomorrow. Or maybe not, who knows!?

On a totally different note, I feel like a bad mom today. It was just one of those days when I was feeling PMSy (see above) and Lilly was being a typical toddler who does not usually get to see Mommy all day. She had tantrums about e.v.e.r.y. thing and I was not the most patient mommy today. I was crying about it later and she said, "Mommy sad?" I told her that yes, I was sad because sometimes mommies get sad too, but I was okay. I smiled at her and she gave me a kiss. That only made me feel even worse. I am resolved to be a better mom tomorrow. Today (and yesterday to be honest) were just bad days. I know I am a good mom. I do. I just get down on myself sometimes.

the mom dilemma

Before I was a mom I had visions of grandeur involving what my life would be like as a Mom. Life was a rude awakening my friends. I am not a working-for-pay mom yet but I am assuming that these problems that I am having as a Mom would plague every kind of Mom. Here is my dilemma, in a nut shell: How does a person get everything done that is supposed to get done? Here is what I would like to get done on a daily basis: cook, daily cleaning and tidying, work out, a few minutes of alone time OR short nap if necessary, spend time with my husband. On a regular basis: big cleaning like mopping, bathrooms, etc, laundry, school work, job applications. Maybe I would even like to have a phone conversation or two. All this needs to occur with a toddler underfoot. Who takes everything out of her dresser when I am putting clothes away in the next room. Who pulls out her favorite books and walks over to me while I am cleaning and says, "BO-ok" and opens my hand and places the book in said hand.

I feel like I can have a clean house but never exercise again, ever and perhaps never let my daughter be a kid. (read: messy, independent, feeding herself, coloring and painting, etc.) Or I can be resigned to a messier house. Here is the kicker...we only have one child right now. Can you imagine what will happen if/when #2 comes along? Hopefully we will be in a bigger house where there will be a play room and toys will not be as invasive on my daily life. For instance, I could walk across my floor without twisting my anle and stubbing my toe and then setting off toys that make noise that have NO OFF switch. Seriously, who makes a noisy toy without an off switch?

It is at times like this that I remember my original blog title...overwhelmed and loving it. Motherhood is not as overwhelming as it was in those first days, and certainly not in the same ways. But life can still be hectic. It is in the handling of that chaos that our true colors show.

Oh, and I have yet to receive a phone call. Positive feelings are dwindling. :(