Sleep...Why I don't and why I need to

Everybody knows how important sleep is to our health.  The amount and quality of sleep we get each night radically affects almost every aspect of our health, from our hearts to our weight to our mental health. Sleep deprivation causes a startling amount of car accidents each year.  In fact, the CDC reports that 1 in 20 adults has fallen asleep at the wheel.  I know there were many times when I was working several jobs or working and going to school at night when I was too tired to drive safely.  Yet I did anyway.

I am working on losing weight.  Again. Or maybe still.  However I phrase it, the end result is the same. I have been saying I was going to work on losing weight and I only gave it a little bit of a try.  Couple that with the foot injuries I have been battling and the extra weight has been hanging around like a bad penny.

I decided I need a holistic and more of a project approach to this.  By project I mean I need to be a good planner.  I need to plan what I am going to eat and when and also when I will exercise.  By looking at losing weight in a holistic manner I realized that I do not get nearly enough sleep!

There are many reasons why people don't sleep enough - they are working, doing housework, night owls, drink too much caffeine, and on and on.  I tend to do a lot of little things around the house after Lilly is asleep and then I unwind by fooling around on the computer or watching some television.  What does this mean?  I need to change several little routines so that I can make the bigger change of going to sleep earlier and waking up without being exhausted still.

Since I am working full time at a summer camp for 7 weeks, I think I will be forced to get enough sleep.  I know it will be exhausting! The person who came to speak to us from the camp's insurer even spoke about the dangers of sleep deprivation, as did the camp director.

With all that being said, I think part of it is that I just have to get myself into bed!  Easier said than done for this night owl....

How much sleep do you get per night?  What are some tips for getting a good night's sleep?

The time is now

The time is now for me to live a healthier life.  I know I have written about this before both in recent months  and a couple years ago.  I could get down on myself for not sticking with it the 1st, 2rd, 3rd time but that leads nowhere fast.  I had to be reminded of that recently because I was starting to feel down about how much time I have lost in the weight battle.  This person told me that I will not gain anything positive by beating myself up and in fact might slide backward even more.  

So what happened this time?  I saw pictures of myself, in pajamas no less, at Christmas and was not happy with what I saw.  But more importantly, I don't feel comfortable in my body right now.  I am at my heaviest ever and it does not feel good.  It feels awkward and uncomfortable.    I do not want to get comfortable at this weight.  As I get older, it will only become harder to lose the weight.   Hence, the time is now.  

I had actually decided this a few weeks ago but then Nanny died and I was not able to really make decisions like this.  I put everything on hold for 2 weeks.  This week was my new start.  I woke up to work out before work 2 days and brought healthy food with me for breakfast, lunch and snacks.  I have been cutting out a lot of the extra snacking and caloric drinks that I was having, especially in the afternoons and evenings.  

I can tell that I am really ready to make this change because even after only a few days of cutting out a lot of the junk and sugar I am not only not craving it, but not wanting it when offered to me.  Don't get me wrong, I am still having my one cup of coffee in the morning with half and half and sugar and I have not cut out the extras completely yet.  But it is drastically reduced and I plan to continue cutting down.  It is amazing that not having sugar makes me not want sugar but that eating sugar makes me crave more and more.

I love candy, like gum drop-type candy, and I had a little bit this week.  The bottom line...I just can't even have one.  Same with chocolate.  There were some Hershey kisses at work, just a couple, but since I did not have one, I did not want one.  But if I had eaten one, I would have wanted them all.  It is the same with soda and iced tea.  I was having one with my lunch almost every day.  But when I stopped having them when I was home over Christmas break I did not feel like I needed those drinks anymore.  

I really feel like I am on a good path.  I am feeling good about living healthier.  Already I feel a little less uncomfortable in my body and look forward to feeling better and better about myself.

the podiatrist is my friend

**sigh** As many of you know, I have been really trying to live a healthier lifestyle.  This includes eating more fruits and veggies, sleeping more, relaxing as needed and exercising.  I was doing so well with the exercising and running and I was excited to maybe run a 5k this fall.  But then I started to feel pain in my ankle so I rested it for a bit.  Last Monday I went for a nice walk in between work and back to school night, since I was staying in Hoboken with nothing else to do.  I kept it easy.  I ran for 2 minutes but realized I was not ready to run again, especially on the hard sidewalks.  My ankle felt fine.  All week it felt fine.  I was wearing heels and it felt fine.  On Thursday it suddenly hurt.  A lot.  By Friday afternoon I was thinking that maybe I had to go to the ER it felt that bad.  I was able to get an appointment with a podiatrist for Saturday morning.

Here is the verdict:  chronic sprain in my right ankle, plantar fasciitis and heel spurs in both feet.  No "pounding" activity for me for awhile.  Special braces to wear at night to help the plantar fasciitis, one to wear while on my feet for the sprain.  The usual anti-inflammatory meds and a cream are also added.  The doctor was very thorough and watched the way I was walking and standing.  He thinks that they way I walk contributed to both things so he ordered orthotics to help with that.

I am so disappointed with this situation.  He suggested swimming or using a stationary bike, but I do not have the money to join a gym to do those activities right now.  Maybe in a few months I will be able to join someplace with a pool.  I think the biggest part of the disappointment is that the running/walking was always about and for me, and only me.  Maybe now that my hand is feeling better I can do yoga again.  I forgot to mention last week that they finally removed that 1 inch stitch that was still in my hand.  Since it was removed it has improved 100%!

I think what I need to do is concentrate on what I can do and not what I cannot.  I can do abs, strengthening exercises, some walking, maybe yoga and watch what I eat.  I can start physical therapy as soon as I am approved.  And I can continue to think healthier.  I'll get to the 5k one day.  As my one friend said, there will be more.

I think I can or I know I can?

I have spoken about trying to lose weight and eat better in this blog before.  It has not happened.  For various reasons that I could go on and on about, I did not lose, but gained weight.  I became out of shape, not in better shape.  I made poor food choices and blamed it on many outside things/forces/whathaveyous.
Little by little in recent months, I began to see what I looked like and did not like it.  Not necessarily because I looked bad, but because I felt like the extra weight was my costume so that I could hide.

I have tried weight loss programs in the past and I would be marginally successful.  There have been two times in my life that I was very successful in losing the weight: once in college and when I was pregnant and then gave birth.  The latter has the easy reason of having morning (noon & night) sickness until about 4 1/2 months.  I had a 2 week reprieve and then for the remainder of the pregnancy I still had aversions (Chinese food and yogurt - blech!) and the added pleasure of throwing up every day.  Until I delivered, basically.  Within 18 months I gained back all the weight I lost while I was pregnant and directly after.  And then some.

The previous time that I lost a lot of weight was when I just made a decision one day to live a healthy lifestyle.  I literally went to bed one day deciding to change the next day; and I did.  The problem was that I was ultra strict with myself and it was very sudden.  I know some programs (OA) can be like that, but you have the support then.  This was just me, on my own.  It did not last long because it was not sustainable.  At least not for me.  I did not want to watch other people eat birthday cake.  There is a lot more to that story, but that is a story for another day, maybe.

Okay so back to the past few months...  I started to see my weight as a costume or shield.  From what, I still have to figure out.  I also started to take responsibility for my weight.  Yes, there are lots of reasons that I could say, "I gained weight because..." but nobody force fed me.  I put the food in my mouth.  Most of the time I even bought the food that I put in my mouth!  There is a freedom in accepting that I did this because it also means that I can undo this.  My recent focus has been away from dieting and on healthy eating and living.  Eating healthier, finding relaxation techniques that work for me and exercising are becoming a priority in my life.

I have always secretly wanted to be a runner, but I could never really get there.  I can walk pretty darn fast, but running makes me want to puke.  But I want to!  I have researched running programs, tried to figure out how I could do this.  But I never took that figurative first step to becoming a runner.  Last week I started walking again.  I had started right before and in between both my hand surgeries but now I really have nothing in the way.  Today I started running, a little bit, just to see if I could.  I always think that I can't.  That I am not a runner.  Yet today, I just did it.  I stopped thinking and did.  I walked as needed, but then started again.  This was already after 20 minutes of walking, so I knew I was not going to injure myself.  I felt powerful and graceful and like I could be a runner.  That momentum carried me through my day.  It made making healthy choices easier.  It cleared a lot of fluff from my head.  I want to run more.

acupuncture follow-up

I have been getting acupuncture once a week for  a month now.  I love it and totally get why people say it is addicting.  The feeling directly afterward is amazing.  I feel so relaxed and calm.  I do feel as if I have been better able to handle many things happening in my life.  It is not 100%...just ask Vinnie!

My carpal tunnel is so much better!  I cannot even believe it.  I sleep better at night, even if I do not go to bed earlier yet.  My digestive issues have greatly improved.  When I eat (large amounts of) dairy I notice a clear effect, and not in a good way.  I still have my cream in my coffee.  Almond milk in coffee = gross.  Seriously.

I am happy to embrace a healthier lifestyle.  In my mind I want to do it all at once.  Realistically, gradual is better and probably longer lasting.  I am anxious to get back to the gym but have not gotten there yet.  I will, I promise myself that.

I have to leave in an hour for my next appointment so I better get moving here at Casa Cappiello!

New Year = New Goals

As 2009 drew to a close, I realized that I had accomplished my big goal for the past several years. I finished graduate school! I won't be walking until the May ceremony but I am finished with my classes. I am just awaiting grade and that very expensive piece of paper. I have some new goals for 2010. Most of these are things that had to get put aside as I finished school as a FT working mom of a toddler. Yikes! When I think of all I had to fight through, or maybe work through sounds better, I am even more proud of myself for having done it. I don't think that anyone would ever say that I am not persistent. Or stubborn. Either one. I think that did me well in this case. Without persevering I would have quit a looong time ago. I mean, I wrote papers while nursing Lilly. Literally. I would lay her across my lap and nurse her while I propped the laptop up in a way that I could type. Craziness.

So, my new goals/resolutions/whatever we want to call them today.

1. Exercise - Totally went out the window when I started working.
2. Eat healthier/cook more - Also went partly out the window when working and taking 2 night classes. Lots of take-out and quick, not necessarily healthy meals.
3. Organize - I sometimes feel like I am drowning in paper.
4. Pay down debt - Believe it or not I am still paying off credit card debt that was accumulated before the un-wedding and the aftermath. Plus there is added debt that I/we are committed to paying down/off. Being a SAHM for 17 months may not have been the best financial decision, but I don't regret one minute I was home.
5. Go to church more often. - I just have not gone, not made the time and I regret that.

I know that they are the stereotypical resolutions that everyone makes. But in some way that makes me feel better. I am not alone in my need to make positive changes in my life. I had wanted to join the gym before this week so that I was not like all the other new members starting on the 1st. How silly is that! Maybe the momentum of others around me will help propel me forward.

Tangentially, Vinnie will be starting school in January. I will be supporting him as much as I can in this huge, but necessary endeavor. It will be great if some of his almost 9 years of Navy experience would count toward something academically speaking. He will be working full time as he starts and I know how hard it can be. I hope that I can be organized enough to have lunch and dinner packed for him on the nights he has school. He also has class Saturday morning which will take a Herculean effort on his part. He likes to sleep in, as evidenced by the amount of times I have been able to sleep in on a weekend. I know he can do this. I am not sure if he realizes how much a Bachelor's Degree can change his life. He can go in a totally new direction of he wants! How exciting!

Okay, off to make some coffee. I went to sleep a little before 2am and I was up a little after 6am. Good times.

New start

As I have written before, my husband has type 2 Diabetes. He was diagnosed about a year ago and it has been a long journey since then. He finally found an endocrinologist that he likes and trusts. Yesterday we went to the doctor's dietician and got some really great information.

As I have also written before, I have been gaining weight and trying to get motivated to get moving and to change my eating habits. I am getting uncomfortable in my own body, which tells me it is the right time. I used to be pretty active. I was even active a few months ago, but I got off track and it has been hard to get back on. The truth is that I have always struggled with my weight and/or body image. I don't understand why I have been gaining weight so quickly recently. I swear there is something else going on (thyroid?) but when they check they say it is normal. So I will try my best and if things still don't change then I will talk to a doctor again.

So here we go...Vinnie and I will be working as a team to support each other and change our lifestyle. Our Lilly baby deserves two healthy, active parents.

It starts NOW!!!