The time is now

The time is now for me to live a healthier life.  I know I have written about this before both in recent months  and a couple years ago.  I could get down on myself for not sticking with it the 1st, 2rd, 3rd time but that leads nowhere fast.  I had to be reminded of that recently because I was starting to feel down about how much time I have lost in the weight battle.  This person told me that I will not gain anything positive by beating myself up and in fact might slide backward even more.  

So what happened this time?  I saw pictures of myself, in pajamas no less, at Christmas and was not happy with what I saw.  But more importantly, I don't feel comfortable in my body right now.  I am at my heaviest ever and it does not feel good.  It feels awkward and uncomfortable.    I do not want to get comfortable at this weight.  As I get older, it will only become harder to lose the weight.   Hence, the time is now.  

I had actually decided this a few weeks ago but then Nanny died and I was not able to really make decisions like this.  I put everything on hold for 2 weeks.  This week was my new start.  I woke up to work out before work 2 days and brought healthy food with me for breakfast, lunch and snacks.  I have been cutting out a lot of the extra snacking and caloric drinks that I was having, especially in the afternoons and evenings.  

I can tell that I am really ready to make this change because even after only a few days of cutting out a lot of the junk and sugar I am not only not craving it, but not wanting it when offered to me.  Don't get me wrong, I am still having my one cup of coffee in the morning with half and half and sugar and I have not cut out the extras completely yet.  But it is drastically reduced and I plan to continue cutting down.  It is amazing that not having sugar makes me not want sugar but that eating sugar makes me crave more and more.

I love candy, like gum drop-type candy, and I had a little bit this week.  The bottom line...I just can't even have one.  Same with chocolate.  There were some Hershey kisses at work, just a couple, but since I did not have one, I did not want one.  But if I had eaten one, I would have wanted them all.  It is the same with soda and iced tea.  I was having one with my lunch almost every day.  But when I stopped having them when I was home over Christmas break I did not feel like I needed those drinks anymore.  

I really feel like I am on a good path.  I am feeling good about living healthier.  Already I feel a little less uncomfortable in my body and look forward to feeling better and better about myself.

Lilly I Am?

Let me set the scene for you.  Lilly is obsessed with the Dr. Seuss book Green Eggs and Ham, having us read it to her every night at least once.  She knows all of it, forward and backward.  Next, Vinnie had purchased a small bag of Sour Patch Kids and I had given Lilly the last few in the bag.  

Lilly asked me if the white stuff in the bag was snow and I said, "No it is sourish sugar."  She proceeded to lick the sour patch kid and dip it into the sugar and eat it.  Needless to say, she loved it.  She then offered one to me...a pre-licked, dipped sour patch kid.  I politely declined because, frankly, the only time I really liked sour patch kids was when I was pregnant with Lilly.  She then said, "Here Mommy, try it, you'll like it.  Try it and you may I say."  

How could I turn that down?  And you know what, I did so like that sour patch kid!