1st Day of the Last Year of Preschool

This is a belated post but I just uploaded my pictures.  I hate misplacing my camera wire!

Honestly, I know that every parent says this, but how on EARTH did my baby get to already be in her last year of preschool????  If I think about how fast it is going I might just throw up.  No...really.  I have loved every age so far, but I keenly feel the loss of each previous stage as well.  I remember sobbing as I had to put away the first clothes she grew out of those first couple months.  And now my baby girl wears a size 6!  Due to my background, I am acutely aware of what it means when your child is not moving forward in his or her development.  I appreciate every thing, even the chattiness and precociousness of my Lilly.  I know that she is a very special little girl, in more ways than one.  I am blessed and honored to be given the gift of raising her.  Have a great year in preschool Lilly Bernadette!

Terrible Momma Moments

Sometimes I feel like a great Momma, like when Lilly climbs something at the playground for the first time.  And then there are the mornings like this one.  Oh what a terrible morning we had.  It started off okay, with great promise even.  But Lilly decided that she was NOT wearing the outfit which we had picked out last night.  She decided that she had nothing pretty or good to wear, she no longer likes the colors pink and purple (GASP!  Almost everything is purple or has purple on it.)  And nothing I suggested was going to work for her.  She wanted something different but she did not know what.  This child has a dresser full of clothes and nothing to wear.  MAJOR tantrums ensued. On the parts of all parties involved.  There was forcible dressing of a preschooler and then the subsequent undressing by said preschool.  There was yelling; there were threats...Fine, you'll wear PANTS! 

All the while, the clock is ticking and I am getting increasingly agitated by the thought of being late to work. I am crying, she is hysterical and Vinnie is not sure what to do with these two lunatic females screaming about clothes.  Eventually, though a joint effort, we got Lilly dressed and off to school.  Drop-off was a mess with the crying starting all over again.  I called a little while ago and the director said she was still sad and clingy, but not crying.  My poor bunny. 

Was she making me late by refusing to put clothes on?  Yes.  Was she completely out of line in her behavior and words?  Yes.  I told her that I will not buy her new clothes until she learns to wear and appreciate the beautiful clothes she has.  We also talked about the way in which she is allowed to talk to adults.  I will be writing a social story about getting ready for school in the morning.  A child does not have to be on the spectrum to need visual reminders. 

Truthfully, as I have been sitting here processing the whole mess, I know that there are many times that I have a closet full of beautiful clothes and nothing seems to be right.  And that usually there is a different, underlying issue that is really making me upset about having nothing "good" to wear.  I am remembering that she is not even 4 years old, after all, and she is still learning to self-regulate her emotions.  I know that she is actually a great little kid who is generally just amazing at being able to express her emotions. 

I wish I could give her a big hug right this instant.  I long to have those little, still slightly chubby arms wrapped around my neck.

I promise that I will learn from this morning's experience.  I think I already did.

The holiday madness has descended

Oh. my. goodness.  I completely underestimated the insane effect of the impending holidays on my 3 year old.  She is a train wreck right now.  She needs wants everything.  She doesn't understand the passage of time (duh) so she thinks Christmas should be here already.  I mean, the poor kid has been seeing commercials and advertisements since practically the day after Halloween.

We have been trying very hard to explain the true meaning of Christmas.  She has gone to Mass with me and we talk about it a lot.  When I told her it was Jesus' birthday she was confused.  We even picked names off the giving tree together and she cried because she thought it meant that she was going to have to give her gifts to someone else.

I know that her reactions are pretty normal but sometimes I am still shocked at just how egocentric this 3-year-old can be.  I think that normally she is very giving and willing to share.  Well, she has a hard time sharing food sometimes.  But she is very generous with her toys and her stuff in general.

On top of it all we have not been keeping a great schedule.  We have had some later nights and some family visits.  She is way better at adapting than she used to be, but she is still very much a schedule kid.  The combination of all this led to these pictures today:

Charming, no?  It was 3pm-ish and right smack in the middle of nap time.  I actually think the pictures are hysterical!  She is with her (mine really) cousins Jack and Nolan, both of whom she adores.  We were able to get a few cuter ones after my cousin, their sister, Victoria talked her into it.

 
 Lilly was kind of smiling in the one with Jack's arm around her but I missed it.  I like the one where she is jumping, though. And why did we not get pictures of all the cousins?  Victoria? Do we remember why?  Next time...

Anyway, it was a great day spent with some wonderful family members.  I am hoping that now that I am aware of this craziness, I can be more calm about it.  Hoping...but maybe a glass of red wine each night will help with that this week!

Mommy confession #578

Confession:  My daughter colored on the wall after her nap one day and I left it there.  I was quite adamant that it was not to happen again.  But I could not bring myself to wash off her mural.  I walked in and she said, "Mommy, I made a rainbow and my name."  This was about 6 months ago.  Maybe 3 months later she did add to it.  And I left that, too.  She loves sleeping under her pictures.  I love seeing them.


So what prompted this confession?  A friend of mine posted pictures of toddler destruction today that included powder covering the entire room.  It reminded me of all the little moments, that seemed like big moments at the time, when I would walk into: ointment on the stuffed piggy, tissues torn into little pieces, an entire box of wipes emptied, powder sprinkled everywhere and yes, murals on the wall.  And truthfully, those moments are some of my most favorite memories of Lilly.  I hope that I can continue to find the joy in those moments.  I mean, who can really resist a diaper ointment covered piggy bum?

Mural #2

Original mural