Sometimes I feel like a great Momma, like when Lilly climbs something at the playground for the first time. And then there are the mornings like this one. Oh what a terrible morning we had. It started off okay, with great promise even. But Lilly decided that she was NOT wearing the outfit which we had picked out last night. She decided that she had nothing pretty or good to wear, she no longer likes the colors pink and purple (GASP! Almost everything is purple or has purple on it.) And nothing I suggested was going to work for her. She wanted something different but she did not know what. This child has a dresser full of clothes and nothing to wear. MAJOR tantrums ensued. On the parts of all parties involved. There was forcible dressing of a preschooler and then the subsequent undressing by said preschool. There was yelling; there were threats...Fine, you'll wear PANTS!
All the while, the clock is ticking and I am getting increasingly agitated by the thought of being late to work. I am crying, she is hysterical and Vinnie is not sure what to do with these two lunatic females screaming about clothes. Eventually, though a joint effort, we got Lilly dressed and off to school. Drop-off was a mess with the crying starting all over again. I called a little while ago and the director said she was still sad and clingy, but not crying. My poor bunny.
Was she making me late by refusing to put clothes on? Yes. Was she completely out of line in her behavior and words? Yes. I told her that I will not buy her new clothes until she learns to wear and appreciate the beautiful clothes she has. We also talked about the way in which she is allowed to talk to adults. I will be writing a social story about getting ready for school in the morning. A child does not have to be on the spectrum to need visual reminders.
Truthfully, as I have been sitting here processing the whole mess, I know that there are many times that I have a closet full of beautiful clothes and nothing seems to be right. And that usually there is a different, underlying issue that is really making me upset about having nothing "good" to wear. I am remembering that she is not even 4 years old, after all, and she is still learning to self-regulate her emotions. I know that she is actually a great little kid who is generally just amazing at being able to express her emotions.
I wish I could give her a big hug right this instant. I long to have those little, still slightly chubby arms wrapped around my neck.
I promise that I will learn from this morning's experience. I think I already did.
4 comments:
Trust me there are days when Gianna wants to watch TV or eat at last minute or not get dressed. Many times I say You can go to school naked and all the kids will laugh at you! I feel for me, I am always saying come one, hurry up, I am going to be late. To her that is probably a stupid statement as I drop her in morningcare a full 1 1/2 hrs before school starts. It sucks, but they do need to get over some things. You are still a great mom
thanks Steph. I definitely think she needs to learn to just get with the program sometimes. And I know that really, she does not know what "late" means. Except that I get mad. And you are a a great mom too!
I am so lucky to have so many great friends who are also great moms!
You're not a terrible Momma. At our house, Tom is up and out the door before 6 am, so it's up to me to get Colden fed and dressed and out the door and to preschool by 8:30. If I wake up with a migraine, Tom has to call in late so that I can have time to get some relief before I have to function. Then I work all day, Tom comes home around 3:30 and gets Colden and they do outside stuff while I finish work. Then at 5, I start cooking dinner and we start our whirlwind clean-up-wind-down-bedtime-routine so that Colden is in bed by 8:30. 99% of the time, I have to do bedtime because Colden doesn't want Tom to do it. "No, Daddy, you can't do bedtime!" and "I don't like you, Daddy!" are what I hear when he tries. Plus, since Tom has to be up early, he's usually in bed early, too. Some nights, it's just too much for me and I come really, really close to losing it. I don't mind telling you that two weeks ago, during the height of maple sugaring/baby chick season when Tom was nowhere to be found during daylight hours, I finally DID lose it and screamed at Colden one morning when he refused to get out of his jammies or let me change his pull-up. I was sick that day, too, and I just couldn't help but feel totally overwhelmed at the thought that we were going to be late, I was going to miss my meeting for work, etc. But it happens. We're all human. We get frustrated. We're all doing our best. Sure, the kids will cry for a little while and we'll feel like we're absolutely the worst parents in the world, but if we *were* the worst parents in the world, we wouldn't worry about it so much. Hang in there. We haven't even hit the teenage years, yet!
Aww, thanks Jen. Lilly and Colden are a lot alike in that I am the only one who can do bedtime. Sometimes Vin will even get as far as closing the door before she starts crying for me. He is the stay at home Dad right now, so I think it is natural for her to want me to do, well, everything else when I am home.
And don't even remind me of the teenage years! Heaven have mercy on us!!
Post a Comment