I realized that I have been feeling more overwhelmed than usual. I have gained weight. I am just not so happy. I am freaking exhausted. I think that starting school, the baptism and Lilly teething all kind of combined to make it a very stressful time for me.
The question is, now what do I do? Do I call my midwives to see if they can test my thyroid levels? A common complaint about this time postpartum is hypothroidism. I know "they" say to not feel alone and that you did not cause it. But gosh darn it, it sure feels lonely over here, and like I get the award for Bad New Mom of the Year.
update: I actually felt better only a few days later. I cried on the shoulder of one of my great friends and veteran mom, Nicole. She assured my that I was completely normal. I got some sleep, somehow. I prioritized a bit. I let go of my need for that "A". I realized that I probably gained weight for a few reasons, one of which is that I am actually eating. I did not eat properly almost all summer! I forgot to eat half the time. No matter I was so thin! Now I just have to work on losing it again...healthily. Oh, and I had my thyroid checked and it was normal.