Just Lose It!!!

I entered the summer with a expectations that were just a tad unrealistic.  I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could lose 30 pounds.  Give or take.  Yes, I know, you are all shaking your head right about now.  I am smh at myself.   I just found out that smh = shaking my head.  Had to use it.  :)   The thing is, I had never really voiced those expectations.  I am sure if I had someone would have laughed corrected me.  I was not really saying anything to anyone because, well, I did not want to fail.  I hate failing, maybe more than anything.  How silly of me...I don't want to fail but I set expectations that would have been impossible to meet.  But I had mentioned to a few people that I wanted to take the opportunity of working in a structured, busy environment to start anew on my weight loss journey.

So the results are in...I lost 15 pounds from the beginning of camp.  Yay!!!  I ate healthier than I had been, was working outside and on my feet in the heat for 8 hours a day and walked a good bit.  So now here is where the real work is going to begin for me.  I am home for the next 3 weeks before the school year begins again.  I have lots of time to snack.  I am not sweating on my feet for 8 hours a day.  If I am hungry, there is food in my house, unlike camp where I brought my lunch and any snacks.  Even though I was cooking all day and even tasting small bites many times through the day, I did not eat what I was cooking all that much.

I know I have to move.  That is always a big part of weight loss for me.  I also know that I need to pack and bring my lunch to work.  I found a few lunches that worked for me this summer.  it can be a little boring, but I think that's actually a good thing for weight loss.

The big change I have made since I am home now is that I am diligently tracking all my food and exercise.  I had used this app before but then this summer it was more difficult because we were not allowed to use our cell phones during camp.  Plus I was taking lots of "tastes" but not full servings, so it was challenging.  The app I am using is Lose It.  I find that it is easy to use and I love that I can scan foods.  I have also put in some of my "usuals" in the recipe section so that instead of adding my coffee, cream and sugar separately I can just add my coffee for which I already measured and calculated everything.  Additionally, when I scan in, say 2 chocolate chip cookies, and I see that I just ate 160 calories, I am less inclined to grab a few more.  A cup of grapes for 62 calories versus 2 cookies for 160.  There is a reason why the author of the "Eat This Not That" cookbooks is doing so well.  I just needed to see it for myself.

Along with using the app I am measuring most things again.  Years and years ago I lost a lot of weight by measuring and writing it all down.  That is how I will do it again.  I know it might take me a long time and I might even have setbacks here and there.  That is just being realistic, and I really don't want to trick my mind into thinking I can lose all the weight by Christmas.  It's just not going to happen!

I know beyond a doubt, that this is a journey.  And I also know I have to be patient with myself and have realistic expectations.  And also, like a journey, there are twists and turns, valleys and mountains but I just have to continue along.

One more note... Whenever I am tempted to think that 15 pounds is nothing compared to what I need to lose, I remember what my BFF Michelle told me another time I was on WW.  I think of a 5 lb bag of sugar, even pick one up next time I am in the grocery store.  It's heavy!  That is a lot of weight that is no longer surrounding my organs!

Summer vacation

Summer vacation always inspires in me a long list of "things I must accomplish" that inevitably include deep cleaning the entire house, organizing the basement, completing a craft or learning a new one.  Why oh why do I place such big expectations on myself?

This week I started on Tuesday with playing outside with Lilly all morning, making a yummy lunch and then taking her nap time as me time.  I started to realize that maybe that is all I need to accomplish this summer: spending quality time with Lilly.  I am a working mom 10 months of the year.  I get to be a SAHM for 2 months and I want to cherish that and use it smartly.  Before Lilly that may have meant cleaning and organizing my basement or learning a new craft.  Lilly is 3 years old and I will never get to have moments like these again.  

So my basement may or may not get organized this year.  But I will organize playdates for Lilly and I.  And I may or may not learn a new craft this summer.  But I will fingerpaint and bake and make playdough with Lilly.  I may not re-read all those wonderful classics (another yearly summer promise) but Lilly and I will participate in our library's summer reading program.  And I'll read some great chick lit and beachy reads!  

so...

Why are weekends fraught with tension, misunderstandings and miscommunications? I think in my household it has to do with expectations and the failure to meet them. Sometimes I don't live up to my own expectations: I am going to work out Saturday & Sunday, I am going to clean the entire house, I am going to get all my homework done. Sometimes my DH does not live up to mine: Generally help with the above. :) A bit of time to myself each weekend. Sometimes I don't live up to my DH's: I don't always let him sleep in, take naps or watch TV when the baby is not napping. I expect help so that my expectations get met.

Probably it is a combination of both. It just seems like we cannot get through a weekend without some kind of tense interaction.

Do other couple encounter this? How do you handle it or overcome it? If you used to feel this way and no longer do, what has changed?