Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes....

Change is hard. Even when it is good change, it can be so overwhelming. I feel as if my life is filled with uncertainty right now. I am in the middle of a divorce. I am on the brink of a career change. I had not really thought of it in that way, but my day-to-day duties will be very different than what I am currently doing. I also started teaching as an adjunct professor.  It is exciting to take what I know and have learned over the years and teach it to the future teachers of our world.

I am so blessed to have these opportunities and I am having fun with them. But it also causes that pit in my stomach that I cannot quite get rid of right now.  What if I made the wrong choice? What if I fail? I HATE to fail. But...if I have learned anything over the last few years, it is that staying static does not improve situations. I have also learned that life moves forward, with or without you, whether you are involved or not. You might as well choose your path, before it is chosen for you.

So. Here I go...onward and upward into the unknown. I have really awesome friends and family who are supporting me along the way. I have people in my life who see things for me and about me that I have trouble seeing sometimes, and for that I am grateful. It is important for me to surround myself with people who know me; the real, nitty-gritty me. And they believe, not in spite of who I am, but because of who I am. 

Easter Renewal

Homemade carrot cake

This year we celebrated Easter twice.  We spent "PrEaster" at my in-laws in the Poconos and Easter Sunday at my parents.  Lilly was amazing at Mass and Blue was amazing both at my in-laws and at my mom's.

For the usual holiday weekend illness, Lilly's allergies were very bad, making me question whether it was allergies or illness.  Claritin cleared it up so I am sticking with allergies.  (We have a bad habit of spending holidays in the ER.)  For the mandatory craziness, our kitchen sink faucet started spraying water all over the place, necessitating that we turn the water off under the sink.  It just adds a new dimension to cooking and baking.  :)

Though I may not be as regular a church goer as I used to be, or maybe even as I would like to be, I do believe that Easter is a time of renewal and hope.  When I was in church yesterday I prayed not only for God's blessings, but for my heart and soul to be open to all that God has in store for me and my family.  This year has been a tough one, but through our challenges we can and have experienced growth.  I really  felt very strongly for the first time in a long time that God has something wonderful planned for us in the coming year.


I know this may sound a little pie-in-the-sky, but I do believe that fear can hold you back from receiving the blessings that God is ready to bestow on you.  Fear is a very powerful emotion that is often a good thing: parents need to have a healthy fear in order to keep their children safe; children should have a fear of the street; my fear of being late to work makes me get out of bed.  But fear unchecked can inhibit you, hold you back.  I have been becoming more and more aware of what my personal fears are and how they might be holding me back.  Add to that the overwhelming feeling I had at Mass yesterday to shed my fears, and I really felt true renewal of hope.

I hope everyone was able to experience their own renewal of hope on this beautiful weekend.