Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes....

Change is hard. Even when it is good change, it can be so overwhelming. I feel as if my life is filled with uncertainty right now. I am in the middle of a divorce. I am on the brink of a career change. I had not really thought of it in that way, but my day-to-day duties will be very different than what I am currently doing. I also started teaching as an adjunct professor.  It is exciting to take what I know and have learned over the years and teach it to the future teachers of our world.

I am so blessed to have these opportunities and I am having fun with them. But it also causes that pit in my stomach that I cannot quite get rid of right now.  What if I made the wrong choice? What if I fail? I HATE to fail. But...if I have learned anything over the last few years, it is that staying static does not improve situations. I have also learned that life moves forward, with or without you, whether you are involved or not. You might as well choose your path, before it is chosen for you.

So. Here I go...onward and upward into the unknown. I have really awesome friends and family who are supporting me along the way. I have people in my life who see things for me and about me that I have trouble seeing sometimes, and for that I am grateful. It is important for me to surround myself with people who know me; the real, nitty-gritty me. And they believe, not in spite of who I am, but because of who I am. 

Writer's Block or How to Blog When Life Sucks

So here is my problem, really.  Things are kind of challenging right now in my life.  This in turn makes it hard for me to blog.  It makes it easy to write, but it is not the kind of stuff you want to read.   It is the nitty gritty, real-life crap.*  It's complaining.  Praying.  Begging for Vinnie to find another job.  Like, NOW, universe.  It is stress and worry and tears.  I am over that, I think, for now.  I need to move forward.

And truthfully, life doesn't suck in its entirety.  Vinnie is doing great as a SAHD right now.  It would not be his chosen role, but he has embraced it this time around.  I came home to baked ziti today.  Baked ziti, that I didn't have to do anything for, and the kitchen was CLEAN!!!  Lilly is being cared for and he is still managing to get some job searches done and resumes sent out.  Life might be hard, but there are many positives.

I miss blogging.  I miss the interactions I have with blogging, and with fellow bloggers.  I just have to get out of the mind rut.  Maybe you will see different kinds of posts from me.  Maybe not.  I guess I have to see what gets me out of this writer's block.

I think part of the problem is that blogging is a weird world that straddles the public and the private line.  People in my life have been upset with me over posts I wrote that (I thought) had little to do with them.  I have been sometimes over careful in posts I have written so I would not offend people.

Bottom line is this: I like to write and specifically, to blog.  I think I need to just do it, as the old Nike ad goes.  The rest will come.  I miss you my bloggy friends!!

*funny Lilly story about "crap" to come...