Transitions

I've been asked a few times recently about when I was going to write something new.  I wasn't sure.  I am still not sure why I haven't really written since Thanksgiving.  A busy life is one answer, but not the complete truth.  I just was not inspired to write about anything in particular.  Or maybe I had too many topics from which to choose?   My life was in flux.  

My husband started a new job.  This was HUGE.  It has been so great for all of us.  But change, even when it is positive, is tricky.  Responsibilities and expectations have to be adjusted.  Who is doing Lilly drop-off, pick-up?  Who has to stay late, go in early or has an appointment?  Who is doing the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry?  After he was home for 2 1/2 years, this was just one big giant transition.  Again...good problems to have, but mentally, they wiped me out!

I have not even posted about Christmas!  It was a wonderful Christmas and Lilly loved everything about it.  We had fun with Sha-la-la, our Elf on the Shelf.  We have been to tons of birthday parties for Lilly's classmates.  We bought a new car!  

Our elf Sha-la-la visited our gingerbread house.

One thing that haunts me a bit, because I have written about it so many times, is my stalled weight loss.  I am still having issues with the plantar fasciitis which makes walking, my preferred form of exercise, darn near impossible.  I have to walk for my job, so I do that.  But to exercise before or after work is daunting.  If I had an elliptical or bike I think I would be okay, and swimming, as always, would be amazing.  But I do not have those options right now.  

I had decided that I was not going to beat myself up about eating and enjoying cookies or other food over the holidays.  And I didn't.  What good is eating a cookie if I was going to beat myself up after?  And I baked lots of cookies!  I tried all of them.  That would have been a lot of negative feelings.  

A sampling of the cookies and fudge I made for friends and family.

Additionally, I was found to have low thyroid and put on some medication.  I had gained about 10 of the pounds back that I had lost since June.  I had noticed the weight gain at the same time I noticed the other symptoms that sent me to my doctor.  In my head I had really believed that the weight would come off when I started the medicine.  Yeah, that hasn't happened.  Meanwhile, I have been eating so much healthier since the holidays ended.  I was actually so sick of sugar by New Year's Eve that I considered giving it up completely!  I keep waiting to lose the weight again, but it doesn't want to go anywhere right now.

I have blogged about losing weight so much that I was feeling embarrassed about not only not losing more weight but gaining weight.  It weighed on me.  No pun intended.  

Well, I am back.  I am me.  I have been working really hard, personally, to not let my weight and size define me.  I have let it for for too long.  That goes for my writing and blogging, too.  It is part of what I write about, but not the only thing.  Do I want to be healthier?  Yes.  Do I want to set healthy eating examples for Lilly?  Hell yeah!  But I am not going to wait to lose weight before writing and blogging again.  Welcome back to me!!  

The holiday madness has descended

Oh. my. goodness.  I completely underestimated the insane effect of the impending holidays on my 3 year old.  She is a train wreck right now.  She needs wants everything.  She doesn't understand the passage of time (duh) so she thinks Christmas should be here already.  I mean, the poor kid has been seeing commercials and advertisements since practically the day after Halloween.

We have been trying very hard to explain the true meaning of Christmas.  She has gone to Mass with me and we talk about it a lot.  When I told her it was Jesus' birthday she was confused.  We even picked names off the giving tree together and she cried because she thought it meant that she was going to have to give her gifts to someone else.

I know that her reactions are pretty normal but sometimes I am still shocked at just how egocentric this 3-year-old can be.  I think that normally she is very giving and willing to share.  Well, she has a hard time sharing food sometimes.  But she is very generous with her toys and her stuff in general.

On top of it all we have not been keeping a great schedule.  We have had some later nights and some family visits.  She is way better at adapting than she used to be, but she is still very much a schedule kid.  The combination of all this led to these pictures today:

Charming, no?  It was 3pm-ish and right smack in the middle of nap time.  I actually think the pictures are hysterical!  She is with her (mine really) cousins Jack and Nolan, both of whom she adores.  We were able to get a few cuter ones after my cousin, their sister, Victoria talked her into it.

 
 Lilly was kind of smiling in the one with Jack's arm around her but I missed it.  I like the one where she is jumping, though. And why did we not get pictures of all the cousins?  Victoria? Do we remember why?  Next time...

Anyway, it was a great day spent with some wonderful family members.  I am hoping that now that I am aware of this craziness, I can be more calm about it.  Hoping...but maybe a glass of red wine each night will help with that this week!