Camp begins!

Camp begins tomorrow and runs for 7 weeks. I'm excited even though I know how tired in going to be. It's different than my usual job. And sometimes different is good.  It allows me to explore different sides of myself. Wish me luck on my adventure!

Yoga

I have written about yoga before, about how it makes me feel better.  I have written about how I sometimes struggle with acceptance of where I am now, in yoga.  My flexibility is not what it used to be.  I need to modify poses a lot.  I cannot stay in them as long as I was once able.  yada yada yada, blah blah blah.  It's all useless chatter, really, those thoughts.

Part of the anxiety I have been feeling lately has caused me to breathe very shallowly, which then constricts blood flow to muscles and joints.  My acupuncturist was explaining this to me and asked me to spend several minutes daily just breathing deeply.  I have been doing that and I can definitely feel the difference in the tenseness of my body...my jaw, my shoulders, etc.

Recently I started doing a yoga journal dvd introduction to ashtanga.  What I love about ashtanga yoga is that it is all about connecting the breath to the movement.  It has really helped me get into a pose and stay there longer.  It's quieting all that chatter going on in my head, because if I am concentrating on breathing deeply I cannot hear the negative voices.

Today I didn't feel great, so I did a restorative yoga video.  The instructor has some good tidbits that I want to share with you, but I am too tired to remember them exactly.  Needless to say, I am feeling better, both physically and emotionally, having made yoga an important part of my day.

My time

Hey all!  I know I haven't been writing much.  I have had another writing project going on, that has kind of taken up my time.  It's exciting for me because it is a totally new project, but fits me well.  I wish I could be less vague about it, but the company prefers that I write as "the company" and not let myself be known, yet.

Plus, you know, life.  It gets busy around these months for teachers.

I've been in a fitness/weight loss slump.  But I feel the tides changing.  You know when you just get sick of feeling sick?  That is kind of how I feel right now.  I know that cutting dairy and sugar out/down makes me feel better.  I know that yoga makes me feel better.  I just gotta do it.  I really do, because I am so sick of feeling like this.  I just have to get over that hump.  You know the one I mean.  The one that tells you that you cannot, absolutely not live without candy.  Or doughnuts.  Or mac & cheese.  Or ice cream.  Or whatever it is that makes you feel oh so good when you take those first bites.  But truth?  I don't just take one bite.  Ever.  And another truth?  My tummy really hurts when I eat that shit.  My body starts to get achey.  I get tired and lethargic.  Like, too tired to do yoga or go for a walk, the very things that make me feel better.

Melanie, you are saying, you have told us this before.  Yeah, I know I have.  Such is the journey of life, my friends.  Sometimes we have to make mistakes a few (lots of) times before we get it.  I think this is my time....