Last Friday night I decided that I wanted to take a hot bath. I was feeling a bit stressed and just needed to feel that hot water sooth and relax my muscles. I have always loved baths but somehow it is hard to find the time these days. What transpired after the decision to take a bath was made was either going to make me laugh or cry. I decided on a good laugh (more stress relief) and thought you might like it, too. Enjoy!
How to Take A Bath
Decide to take a bath and walk into the bathroom.
Hear 5 year-old crying for Momma.
Calm her down and put her back to sleep. Realize that running the water in the tub will keep her awake.
Go to sleep instead.
Wake up to aforementioned child crying again. Bring her into your bed.
Next evening decide to take a bath, again.
Make sure the cat is in the bathroom so he doesn't meow outside the door and wake the child.
Put a moisturizing fascial mask on to soak in while you are bathing. Smart multitasking!
Get into bath and allow the hot water to envelope you and relax your muscles.
Close your eyes and lean back.
Feel the furry tail of the cat pull all the way across your face, leaving cat hair in the moisturizing mask.
Sigh and take mask off with warm washcloth.
Close eyes and lean back again. Remember that bathtub is barely long enough for 5 year-old, let alone 5'11" grown woman. Attempt to relax anyway.
Get scared out of your mind when the door bursts open. Wish your bathroom door locked.
Try to shoo dog out. Be satisfied that she stops whining so she doesn't wake 5 year-old.
Diffuse potentially tricky situation between cat and dog in small bathroom space while still in the tub.
Realize bathroom door is now wide open.
Feel freezing cold air coming in. Give up on relaxing hot bath.
Get out of bath and immediately get rubbed on by cat on the left leg and the dog on the right, leaving long orange and white hairs and short gray hairs on each respective leg.