Friday, May 14, 2010

It feels as if I am propping my eyes open with toothpicks

Lordy am I tired.  This week was so emotional.  It started out with Mother's Day and my birthday on Sunday, being let go on Monday, having an interview on Thursday and finding out on the way home that another co-worker was let go, some other in-between crap and tomorrow is my Convocation.  I am about to go upstairs, read my book U is for Undertow Kinsey Milhone Mystery and listen to some Enya:  A Day Without Rain.  Reading helps my mind empty itself of any crap floating around.  The music calms my soul.  I know that playing Enya to relax is played out.  I get it.  But it still works for me.  And at this juncture, whatever works will be utilized to its fullest extent.

Last night I did not go into Lilly's room when she started crying at 10pm.  She fell back asleep.  She did not come into our room until 5am-ish.  Tonight I let her cry again for about 5 minutes.  So far she went back to sleep.  It is so hard as a parent to stay out of the room.  We had gotten pretty good at letting her cry and recognizing her different cries.  After she was sick and had the last few seizures I did not leave anything to chance and went in if she cried for more than a few minutes.  It is difficult for me to let go of that need to check on every little whimper.  However I am doing her an injustice by not letting her fall asleep on her own.  She became accustomed (very quickly I might add) to getting up around 10pm and hanging out with us.  But 2 y.o. girls need their sleep and so do their parents!!

So what the heck am I still doing awake???  Blogging and finishing the dishes and feeding the cats.

Happy weekend!!
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