Wednesday, May 20, 2009

exercise and such

I am finally fed up with all the weight that I am gaining back. I had lost sooo much weight after I had Lilly. It was like it had melted off. Well, that was short lived. I think that #1 I was gaining back some of the fluid I lost when I hemorrhaged after Lilly's birth and that #2 I had to regain some of the muscle I lost. I lost weight during my pregnancy (12 lbs) and then gained about 5 pounds back at the end of it. Then by my 6 week postpartum visit I was a total of 40 pounds less than my first maternity visit. So by the end of my pregnancy and all last summer I had no butt and skinny arms and legs. Anyone who knows me that I don't naturally have skinny arms or legs and I have a butt. I am just built that way...pretty muscular. So, in my head, I know that some of the weight I gained back was muscle. I have my normal butt, arms and legs back. But when I step on the scale, my heart sinks. #3 is that Lilly is not nursing night and day. She still nurses a lot, but nearly what she did before food. The combination of the 3 factors has lead to me gaining back 20 of those 40 pounds. So, okay, I am still 20 pounds less than I was before I had Lilly. But I still have a lot to loose.

And to be honest, I don't want to diet. I hate dieting and I don't think it really works. I always find ways to cheat but still stay on the plan. I don't want to be a sneaky eater. I want to be an honest eater. So I am trying to make better choices. Not let myself get to the starving point. Drink enough water. Move my body most days of the week.

Today I went for a good-paced walk pushing the jogger (and Lilly) with my friend Caroline in the park. Also, instead of napping during Lilly's morning nap I did the 20-minute Winsor Pilates DVD. My core strength is just completely depleted since pregnancy and a c-section. My belly is actually the only thing that really bothers me.

Off to bathe and nurse Lilly girl!
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