blah

I know I am getting my period anytime now, and this is the most likely culprit for this feeling. I am just feeling so fat and blah. I tend to keep those feeling inside and kind of just let them live. I was thinking that maybe if I got it out in the open (like on here) it can help me let those feeling go. I have struggled with these feelings as far back as middle school age and especially high school. Even in college, there were times that I worked really hard and got in good shape...and I still felt like this. It is kind of like this...no matter what my body actually looks like, I have a picture in my head of what it looks like. Most of the time I have a realistic picture in my head, but sometimes this other picture takes it place. And when it does, it affects my whole outlook. And of course then I want to eat cupcakes. :)

So really this was about just letting those feelings go. I am acknowledging that I am feeling like this, but not giving it any credibility. I am doing the best I can right now. It may not be enough to lose weight, but it is what I can do right now.

Now that I have a daughter I really want to get a handle on these feelings. I have read several books over the years about how young girls are affected by what their moms and other women in their life say about their own bodies.