Jello Memories

In my last blog post I wrote about making new memories.  I think one of the things I love most about making new memories with Lilly is how it often brings me back to my own childhood memories.  I am pretty darn lucky that my memories are so wonderful.  I know how blessed I am to have had such a childhood because I work with children who do not always have good memories.  Or their good memories are so far from how I define good that it saddens me.  While I know that my childhood was not perfect, I have very few bad memories.

Yesterday I was making jello with Lilly.  A few years ago I tried making it but she refused to eat it.  I ended up eating an entire pan of orange jello.  It was more than a little sickening.   She has now decided that she likes jello.  She picked out grape (hello, purple!) and raspberry lemonade or some such newfangled flavor.  She was very excited to make it with me.  I obviously stirred it initially since it requires adding boiling water, but then she helped stir the jello powder until it disolved.  We talked about how it would not be ready until tomorrow (today) which is why we made it at night.

Waiting is a hard thing for kids.  Scratch that, waiting is hard!   Lilly was pretty okay with it.  She understands what finished jello looks like so she knew that this was NOT finished.  Without telling her what I was doing, I got out a spoon and scooped a bit of the cooled jello mixture just before I put it in the fridge.  I told her that this is what Nanny used to do for me and I gave her a taste.  It brought me right back to 188 aka Nanny's house, where she would give me a little taste of the not-yet-ready jello from the fridge.  Watching Lilly's face light up at the taste of the warm liquidy goodness was fun.  Watching her smile as she thought of me as Nanny's little granddaughter was priceless.

And you know what?  Knowing that I look back and see the good memories gives me hope that Lilly, too, will someday look back and see only the good, and forgive me for my mom-mistakes.

St. Patrick's Day Fun

Lilly has her sweater on.

As long as I can remember, my family has celebrated St. Patrick's Day.  When I was younger the parade went by our street and we would have friends and some family over to watch the parade together.  As I got older, I would sometimes go into NYC to the parade there or to the local Irish pub in town.  

This year, we went to our county's parade, where my daughter danced and marched with her Irish Step Dancing school.  It was so exciting!  Lilly was thrilled to show off her dancing skills to all our family who came out to see her.  I thought that she would be too tired to walk the whole parade, but she not only walked nearly the whole parade, she skipped the entire time.  

Lilly is in the front, 3rd from the right.  

Lilly is in a long gray sweatshirt, with her ponytail flying out behind her.

The next thing we did this weekend was to bake Soda Bread.  Usually I make it and Lilly just enjoys it with me.  This year I had her help me.  She loved helping me measure, pour, and mix.  I am pretty sure it made the bread taste all the sweeter, too!

Stirring the dry ingredients.

So tasty!

I  am really enjoying creating new memories with my little family!

Crap

Apparently I say "crap" a lot.  I know I have said, "What's all this crap all over the floor?"   I'm not proud of it.  It's a terribly crude way to express myself.  This was made glaringly clear to me on Sunday evening when I was getting Lilly ready for bed.

me: Lilly, what happened to your room?  It's a mess!  You have stuff everywhere.
Lilly: I don't know mom.
me:  Okay, work on it tomorrow with Daddy.
Lilly: But it's too much.
me: I know, start with putting your clothes away.  Tomorrow I want you to fold your clothes and put them in your drawers.
Lilly: Okay mommy.  And I know, I know, pick up all this crap off the floor.
me:  audible GULP and nearly pass out
me:  You know Lil, I say that word a lot...

Lilly: You mean crap?

me: Yes, I say that word a lot, but it is actually not a nice word to say like that.  I am going to work really hard on not saying that.  

Lilly: Okay Momma

What is it about our children that makes our short comings jump out at us? I'll add it to my list of things I need to work on...

Writer's Block or How to Blog When Life Sucks

So here is my problem, really.  Things are kind of challenging right now in my life.  This in turn makes it hard for me to blog.  It makes it easy to write, but it is not the kind of stuff you want to read.   It is the nitty gritty, real-life crap.*  It's complaining.  Praying.  Begging for Vinnie to find another job.  Like, NOW, universe.  It is stress and worry and tears.  I am over that, I think, for now.  I need to move forward.

And truthfully, life doesn't suck in its entirety.  Vinnie is doing great as a SAHD right now.  It would not be his chosen role, but he has embraced it this time around.  I came home to baked ziti today.  Baked ziti, that I didn't have to do anything for, and the kitchen was CLEAN!!!  Lilly is being cared for and he is still managing to get some job searches done and resumes sent out.  Life might be hard, but there are many positives.

I miss blogging.  I miss the interactions I have with blogging, and with fellow bloggers.  I just have to get out of the mind rut.  Maybe you will see different kinds of posts from me.  Maybe not.  I guess I have to see what gets me out of this writer's block.

I think part of the problem is that blogging is a weird world that straddles the public and the private line.  People in my life have been upset with me over posts I wrote that (I thought) had little to do with them.  I have been sometimes over careful in posts I have written so I would not offend people.

Bottom line is this: I like to write and specifically, to blog.  I think I need to just do it, as the old Nike ad goes.  The rest will come.  I miss you my bloggy friends!!

*funny Lilly story about "crap" to come...