I am such a night owl

How do I turn myself into a morning person?  I know the ways in which I should train myself into a morning person.  I know why I should become a morning person, namely, getting to work in a timely and not panic attack-inducing fashion.  But I just cannot get myself to go to sleep early enough so that waking up early is not a constant battle.

I would like to be able to get up early enough to work out in the mornings.  The way things stand now, and historically speaking, I am lucky I have time to jump in the shower in the mornings before work.  Please don't look at my legs because they will not be smooth, but more on the bristly side.

I like to go on the computer after Lilly is in bed and do all my farmville and cityville stuff.  (It's all right; you can laugh at me.)  I like to exercise and/or watch a little TV before I settle in for the night.  i don't do all things every night.  I blog.  Sometimes I like to read.  This is not even including the usual evening chores: dinner dishes, breakfast/lunch for the next day, get clothes ready, laundry maybe.  I cannot even begin to fathom doing household chores on school nights, as much as I would like to.  I think about mopping the kitchen floor after she is in bed.  That's as far as that goes.

There have been periods of my life during which I forced myself to wake up early to exercise before work.  I loved doing it early because I was more likely to get it done, I ate better the rest of the day and I felt very energized all day.  Plus I would be so tired early in the evening that I would actually go to bed and fall asleep earlyish.

So meanwhile I have been writing about going to sleep early as the clock ticks on.  Maybe if I reward myself... 1 pedicure for 5 nights of early to bed and the consequential 5 days of early to rise.  hmmm.....I might be onto something...

bullying

Today was the first day of the school year for the teachers in my school district.  The students begin tomorrow. During orientation, NJ's new anti-bullying laws were touched upon.  We will be getting more in depth training soon, and throughout the year.  As someone who was bullied as an adolescent/teen, I implore you, whether you are parents, teachers, administrators, the lunch lady or a trusted adult friend, to please do not ignore bullying.  It is not a rite of passage.  It may not be something that just passes if the child ignores it.  It has very serious consequences for the child being bullied.

My parents did not ignore the fact that I was bullied.  Administrators and teachers did.  At least from my memories and perspective.  I even wrote a blog post about it.

Do not let it go.  Do not ignore it.

And so it begins...

Tomorrow is the start of the 2011-2012 school year.  It marks my 10th year teaching (minus the first year I was a kindergarten wrap teacher with no clue); my 6th year in Hoboken; my 2nd year with the Hoboken BOE as a master teacher.  It also marks the 3rd year that I had to go back to work after some time off and leave Lilly.  Oh, how hard it is!  I don't think it will ever get easier, will it friends?

There are so many positives to working, not the least of which being the paycheck and having health insurance for my family.  I love what I do and hope that this year I can become even better at it since I know what I am doing a little more.  Tonight as I was putting Lilly to bed I asked her if the reason she was giving me such a hard time was because she was sad that I was going back to work tomorrow.  She nodded yes, buried her head into my neck and sobbed as if her little 3 year-old heart was breaking.  Oh, how my heart broke at that moment!  I do not even know how to describe how I feel right now.

I know that I need to work and even if my husband had an amazing job that paid megabucks I think I would want to work.  And I know that I am leaving Lilly in good hands with her Daddy and MumMum.  Hopefully we will get good news this week about Vinnie's job and Lilly will be able to go to daycare, which she loves.  It is just this, right now, sucks.

But fear not fellow Hoboken teachers!  I promise not to bore you too much with Lilly pictures and stories.  I am actually really excited for this school year.  I think it will be a great one!

wah! sidelined for a few days

I had posted on facebook earlier that I had tweaked my ankle doing a dance aerobics thing, thank you Billy Blanks jr.  I felt it as soon as I did and tried to stretch it but that did not make it feel better.  The next day I rested it in terms of exercise.  Today I was totally ready to wake up and get on the road for a nice long walk, even if I could not run.  The ankle felt worse, right in the back in the Achilles tendon.  I went to see my mom, who is not a doctor but plays one on tv.  :)  After a lot of massage and stretching it felt a lot better, but her orders were to rest it for several days.  I kind of already knew I should, but I really did not want to believe it.  I have such a hard time getting into an exercise routine that I hate to have to break it.  I guess maybe it is good to have the first week back to work off to get back into that routine.  Part of what makes me so upset is that I was so careful about not doing too much running too fast or too soon.  It was the aerobics on my off day that did me in!

I just really do not want to lose my momentum and motivation.  Help me friends!!  I am starting to feel a little discouraged here.  Thanks!!!!

Summer's End

Here we are at the tail end of my summer break and I am facing all the expectations that I promised myself I would not have this year.  In the beginning of the summer I had written about my usual laundry list of expectations for my summer break and had said that this summer I will not have that list.  I promised myself that I would not stress out about not completely de-cluttering and re-organizing my house.  I am happy to say that I did not let myself get too stressed about it all.  In normal summer mode I would be disappointed with what I did not get accomplished this summer.  This summer I am happy with what I did get done around the house.  A lot of it was just the daily cleaning that occurs with a smallish house and a preschooler.  :)  I also worked on my bedroom; and even though it is not completely finished there is a HUGE improvement. (Okay, Vinnie might not agree with the huge part.  lol)

Looking back on what I had written in early July, I initially wished that I had done more craft stuff with Lilly and arranged a few more playdates.  Some people I had reached out to for playdates were not available and that is okay, even if a bit disappointing.  And sometimes the timing just did not work out.  Maybe I wasted a few too many mornings doing nothing.  And then I realized all that we did do!  But we did go on tons of fun playdates and attended our library's summer preschool reading program.  We visited friends and family down the shore and at lakes.  We explored different playgrounds in our area.  I reconnected with many of my girlfriends, attended a great free music festival and traveled to North Carolina.

Personally, I started on the path to a healthier, running me.  Of course this past week has been difficult with the area still recovering from hurricane Irene.  Not to mention my ankle/Achilles tendon is being a bit funky.  But I am committed to continuing this healthier lifestyle once school resumes next week.

I have to admit that today I was starting to feel that ball of anxiety in my belly about not organizing the basement or finishing my bedroom or insert chore.  But I stepped back and took a deep breath and looked at what I did.  And if I took a lot of naps this summer, maybe it was because I needed them.  I reminded myself that I had surgery the 2nd day after school let out and I was also ill in July. And if Lilly is disappointed that I did not play princesses or babies with her every time she asked, I console myself with the knowledge that she would have me play every possible minute.  And dinner does not cook itself!  So in that I learned about the balance of being a SAHM again.  It is not all fun and games.  Chores have to get done, too.

I hope everyone else had a fun summer!  What was your favorite thing you did this summer?  Come on...leave me some comment love!!!