Thursday, July 14, 2011

Here I am...

...at midnight AGAIN!  It was a rough day.  Lilly, who was ill,  vacillated between cheery, sweet and snuggly to cranky, hitting, pinching and basically wretched.  I probably could have used a glass of wine tonight, if I was prone to such a thing.  The good thing is that I was able to see my friend for an hour alone, sans children!  This may be miraculous.  And seriously necessary today for both of us.

My husband was home but doing his job search stuff while I was home and then at the store during the big meltdown of mom.  Which left me to handle Lilly's ups and downs.  I did not handle them with the aplomb that I wish I had.  I wish that I was able to report to all my readers that I was able to implement all of my positive behavior supports (PBS) and things went swimmingly.  I would be lying.  I actually wrote a whole other post about my feelings about how I handled things today but I am not sure I am courageous enough to post it yet.  Suffice it to say I apologized to Lilly for losing my temper and we were both in tears at one point tonight.  It brought to mind the original reason I was started this blog.  I was just getting so damn overwhelmed!

I am a teacher, yes.  But I also identify myself as a learner.  I have to remember and remind myself that parenting has a big learning curve and it is something that we learn as we go along.  I have to be kind to myself.  Sometimes it is just so fucking hard.
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