But this is about my dad's mom, my Grandma. Thinking and talking about nanny dying has stirred up a lot of feelings about my Grandma. I am not even sure I can write them all out here in one post because it would be too long yet not long enough to accurately convey my feelings and thoughts. So for today I will just talk about how I miss her.
I always miss her most in the summertime because she lived down the shore for most of my life. When I was in college I would hop in my car and drive down to see her for the weekend or for some weekdays when I was in retail (and worked all weekend.) We would look at old pictures and letters and she would tell me stories. I wish I had had the foresight to record them because I have forgotten most and, as young people are apt to, I thought I would always have more time with her. I had no clue that a stroke would rob her of her ability to communicate a story in that way. She would cook for me...turkey or chicken tetrazinni, or meatballs are the meals I remember. It was an easy existence for us when I would visit on those days. Often she was working during the day and I would go to the beach and come home in time for us to have dinner (along with Aunt Ginny!)
Grandma had a wicked funny sense of humor. She was sarcastic, irreverant and maybe more than a little nutty. I know that her sense of funny was not always nice to other people but for now, I am putting that aside. She wore animal prints, leggings and glittery painted shirts. Her Keds were not white but floral, blue or had some other design. She bought me my first pair of satiny panties. I think I was 14 and secretly thought they were fantastic. Grandma was raised as a Protestant and knew all her Bible verses and sang "Jesus loves me this I know..." among other songs in her slightly off-tone voice. We always went to Mass together when I went down to visit her.
Sometimes when Lilly does something really funny or has a certain look on her face or dresses in some crazy get-up that includes a twirly skirt and maybe some lip gloss or lips, as Lilly calls it, "lips" I know in my heart that Grandma would have loved Lilly so much. She would have thought that she was just the funniest, sweetest little girl. Lilly would have made Grandma laugh and they would have gotten along like 2 peas in a pod. And then I miss her even more.
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